Sunday 28 October 2007

And so it is ...

... that I haven't been around for a while. Still feeling under the weather but just about holding up.

In non-sick related news, went to my first Killing Kittens party yesterday. Daniel and I booked ourselves a suite at a nearby hotel and checked in fairly early in the day so we could get some shopping done for the party (which was to have an "Eyes Wide Shut" theme). We promptly headed over to Angels fancy dress store on Shaftesbury Avenue (they do a generous selection of Venetian masks). On arriving at the store, a queue of about 50 people too long snaked its way across the corner (mostly made up of the Halloween crowd). I left Daniel to sort out the masks whilst I indulged in some retail therapy. Stumped for what to wear, I popped into a shop on Regent Street and bought a suitable smart (but not TOO smart) black V-neck tulip dress with pockets (handy for carrying some extra condoms lol) without trying it on, figuring I could do that at the hotel. The only problem once I did? It was about 5 inches too long! Cue calling the concierge to send up a sewing kit and spending the next half hour studiously taking it up.

So, with our masks on, we grabbed a cab to the party, arriving at 10:30 pm. A fabulous venue near Great Portland Street, risque outfits and lots (I repeat, lots!) of champagne fuelled what should have been a hedonistic night of fun. Pity it turned out to be a bit of a damp squib. I have now come to realise that beautiful girls does not a party make!

Did Daniel and I get to participate in any off-the-wall behaviour? Stupid question, really lol. We got to try out the large bed in one of the rooms, got to try out a few women, had some random lady all over me like a rash (despite her constantly claiming she was "shy") and her potential late night shag inviting us back to his place (God knows where). Suffice to say, we declined, got dressed and headed back to our hotel suite for more satisfying fun in 2 hours than could be found in 5 hours back at the party.

So much effort for so little result. Shame, really, especially seeing as Jon and Lisa (a couple we met and played with at a previous Fever Open House party) invited us to a private swingers party at a (supposedly) posh country house in Essex to be held on the same night. Ah well, better luck next time. Funnily enough, there's a Fever party next Saturday somewhere in the Docklands which we've also got tickets to. That'll be our first proper Fever party, as opposed to the Open House parties which, on the whole, are more socially (as opposed to sexually) inclined. I'm not going to hold my breath - then again, a bit of optimism never hurt anybody.

I shall keep you posted! x

Wednesday 10 October 2007

*Sniff, sniff*

I know my posts have been sporadic at best. Not been feeling too well. Actually, that's an understatement. I've been feeling like shite! Ill, sick, manic - you name it, I feel it.

So, in the throes of my self-pity, you can see why I haven't been the most regular of folks. In the meantime, I have joined up on the KillingKittens website. Its parties are supposedly Fever-style, but better (not surprised. The rumour goes that the lady who set it up was a Fever panel defector). Not been on there for long so far, but I'm sure you'll hear more about it as time goes on.

On that note, going back to sleep on the sofa. I'm too weak to provide you with any clean stories, let alone dirty ones ... xx

Thursday 4 October 2007

My Prize Pick of the Day ... 04/10/07

Female needed with drivers license and willing to - m4w - 40
Date: 2007-10-04, 4:44PM BST


You wont find this job at the job centre!!!I need someone to work with me as an assistant and to share the driving. the pays is good and there are bonuses. You need to be young attractive (to inspire me) and fit cause the work is not heavy but demanding. The hours are long in the winter but we can always make it fun and hang out in coffee shops/restaurants lunchtimes. You'll meet some interesting people recieve good sex and get paid! it's a full time position and properly legal you'll get well looked after and you need to keep the boss happy :-) At least i'm honest!! earnings would be in excess of £24,000 (£13,000 plus around £300+ bonuses per week) (we could discuss it though)

[Once again, Craigslist comes through with a sterling winner ... weird, strange, possibly scary ... but still a winner!]

Monday 1 October 2007

My Prize Pick of the Day ... 01/10/07

adult baby needs wet nappy changing Age: 36
Date: Monday 1st October

hi,, i,m a adult nappy wearer,,it,s my fetish,,,i love wearing and wetting my nappies,,its not easy to find a place to change my nappy...so if any woman would not mind me useing her place to change my wet nappy,, or you can if you like/////// ealing area please or surrounding areas,,,all the best,, wetnappy

(Today's prize pick comes to you courtesy of Gumtree, a site full of rich pickings. Craigslist definitely needs to up its game!)

Thursday 27 September 2007

My Prize Pick of the Day ... 27/09/07

Freckles? - m4w - 44
Date: 2007-09-27, 5:39PM BST


Aren't there any freckled-bottomed women out there for laughing sex on a chilly autumn day?

If you have freckle-proving picture I guarantee a reply!

[I'm really scraping the bottom of the barrel now, but I DID promise you a prize pick ...]

Wednesday 26 September 2007

Who'd have thought ...

I got a text from Patrick yesterday. How odd. He obviously didn't realise that his last bridge was burnt with THAT unnecessary email ...

In other news, I'm fully enjoying having my Daniel back in all possible ways. So much so that I'm thinking about turning off my profile on AdultFriendFinder temporarily. Yes, I know you're probably thinking that that's just crazy talk, but I'm being serious. Plus, I figured what with the title of this blog, I have been neglecting what used to be my home away from home lol. Then again, that's just because of the disappointments I've had ... I mean, why do men who are no more than 5'8" claim to be "tall"?! In oompa loompa land maybe, but not in the real world ... or not in MY real world, I should say. But don't worry guys. I'm not going all soft and domestic on you. I'm sure this will be a passing phase till my next conquest comes along.

Speaking of conquests, I was chatting with a friend earlier this week and, as it always does, the conversation turned round to sex and what constitutes an acceptable number of "partners". She thought 10, I thought, "Fuck, I passed that point a looong time ago!" I sometimes wonder if that bothers me. I mean, there aren't that many people (let alone females) in their twenties who truly don't know how many people they've slept with. Then again, I've never had an STD or a pregnancy scare, I always use a condom, I get myself checked out twice a year and I'm pretty honest with anyone I'm even thinking of shagging, so I can't be doing THAT badly. I might book myself a session of penance though, just to be on the safe side (would love to see how a priest would react to the stories I have to tell! THAT would definitely be a hidden camera moment! lol)

Well, I shall stop my aimless rambling now. I promise to have a Prize Pick at some point this week, so keep your eyes peeled ...

Saturday 22 September 2007

There wasn't a hope in hell!

So much for keeping my mouth and legs shut! That didn't work out too well for me though, to be fair, I simply revisited some old "friends". I had a bet going with Royal Marine Guy that I wouldn't touch the DDS for the whole time Daniel was away. For those who don't know what that means, it stands for "Drink, Drugs and Sex". So how'd I do?

Abysmally! I managed till Friday last week but a pal's leaving do at work put paid to my self-grown halo. The Drink got me, The Drugs got me (though I'm now starting to think that maybe a joint doesn't count ...) but I managed quite well on The Sex. A drunken kiss and fumble does not a sexual encounter make!

So, by Friday night, the scores were as follows:
Royal Marine Guy - 2.5 : Citygal - 0
(apparently, a kiss and a fumble counts as 0.5 ...)

The Sex got me on Saturday when I innocently suggested meeting up with Mark for a drink. We went to a great bar called Loungelover in east London. What kept me amused the whole evening was some guy blatantly trying (and, at the same time, failing) to flirt with Mark who, at one point, bent over so low that his trousers left nothing to the imagination! Tres hilarious! Aaanyway, somehow I ended up back at Mark's place and ... you know the rest. This time I stayed over which I really really NEVER do! A combination of pleasant exhaustion and not wanting to go back to an empty house and an empty bed, methinks.

So, by Sunday morning, the scores were as follows:
Royal Marine Guy - 4 : Citygal - 0
(yes, sex with Mark counted as a definitive 1.5 ...!)

The Sex almost got me (again!) on Monday night when I agreed to meet up with a guy I'd exchanged emails with on AdultFriendFinder - as he was Irish, I'll go with stereotypes and call him Patrick*. Patrick, would you believe it, sent me a really cute, obviously posed pic. Nothing wrong with that, though I figured him being 35, the pic must have been taken a fair while back. Again, nothing wrong with that, except that an hour before we were due to meet up, a message popped up on my phone from Patrick entitled "A more recent pic ...". Let's just say the person in this pic bore absolutely no relation to the person in the first. And you guys think it's only us girls that lie! Still kept up our "date" at my local pub. Why? Because the real pic wasn't half bad. But by then I'd already decided that nothing was going to happen. There's nothing I hate more than being misled! Sent him an email to that effect after our "date" to which he responded that ... oh fuck it, I'll just paste the email below:

Hi xxxxxx
You don't do texts??? It would have been easier than logging on to this site! Well your formula for ending things remains the same, the Adult FriendFinder route, lol.
There are reasons for most things and I did explain my reasons, which were legitimate in my view and I've no regrets. I'm not ashamed of what I look like at all, my dimple is enough, lol.. its the site thing, if I'd had an email addy or phone number then you would have got the 2nd photo first [
ed - he could have sent the real picture to my email inbox on AFF from the start so no excuse!]. You were not misled and you are more than capable of saying no to a meet before I got on a train. Misled is Mr short,fat and married with a beard turnig up!
Did enjoy meeting you and making you laugh so again, no regrets, not sure if I would have slept with you though, which is why I was not even going to be cheeky and suggest going home with you the other night. Not that you aren't attractive, more the contrary, your the sort I would fall for totally.
Take care and hope you find some happiness, you don't strike me as someone very happy, and thanks for indulging my stories and yarns.
Yesterday I thought of watching a xxxxxxx movie with you and we both laughing...of all things, rather than me thinking of you standing there wearing nothing but heels and baby oil...that is a huge compliment by the way.....like I say, there are reasons for things happening or in this case not happening.
Glad you got home safe anyway x

You get the gist ....

But don't worry, the week did end on a positive note. Met up with Royal Marine Guy for a meal [again, at my local] on Wednesday. The poor staff there must think I'm such a _____ (you fill in the blank!). After the meal, we got ourselves a room at a local hotel and ... again, you know the rest.

So, by Thursday morning, the scores were as follows:
Royal Marine Guy - 4.5 : Citygal - 0
(RMG gets half a point deducted for scoring an own goal!)

Exhausting week, n'est-ce pas? It's been tiring enough typing it all! So now, I'm off to enjoy the weekend with Daniel. Enjoy your weekend(s)! x

Tuesday 11 September 2007

All by myself .....

Daniel's gone bye-bye so at home all on my lonesome. Very sleepy but don't want to go to bed just yet. Been playing around on cam on AFF for a while - and by "playing around", I mean reading the most ridiculous messages a lot of guys seem to send me and laughing my head off!

No plans for the weekend yet, though they might involve Royal Marine Guy at some point - doing my bit for my country and all before he gets posted to Afghanistan. I feel terribly noble! lol. Maybe I should give Craig a call as well - after all, he is finally single now. Or Mark - though haven't spoken to him in a while.

Aaaargh, who knows? Maybe I just need to keep my legs (and mouth!) shut till Danny boy returns. That would be a novelty well worth trying ....

Saturday 8 September 2007

Tired

So the same old Fever thing went down last night. Saw a few people we knew, met some new ones. Played around a bit, but didn't end up going back with anyone. What I can say definitively is that I think I have officially had my fill of Fever.

[Though, knowing me, I'm liable to change my mind at the gentlest persuasion ... ]

Friday 7 September 2007

Off to Fever ...

About to leave the house in the next few minutes avec Daniel for the Fever Open House. Not sure I'm looking forward to it that much - it'll probably be the same old faces (old being the operative word!) lol. Had a few couples recognise me at the last one from my profile on AdultFriendFinder (tres scary!). I remember one of the couples didn't approach me that night but sent me a message on AFF the following day, asking if I'd seen them and if I'd like to meet up. I have to say, to save their feelings, I pretended I'd been so drunk that I hadn't seen or recognised them - which. as you might have already guessed, was a complete and utter lie! I HAD seen them and, unfortunately, there was no way I was going anywhere near the female of that couple, no matter how much of a "novice" she was. I don't do pity cases!

Ok, being bitchy again lol. I should stop and leave now. Will let you know how it goes upon our return ...

Thursday 6 September 2007

My Prize Pick of the Day ... 06/09/07

Ballbusting fascination - m4w - 50
Date: 2007-09-06, 3:22PM BST

Have had recent fascination with ballbusting (girls maltreating mens' nether regions - mostly VERY severely) and want to try it (but starting gently!!!!!!!! as I have no idea what I can take!) Need girl to kick me barefoot in the bare balls - starting gently, but increasing until I end up curled up on the floor - may take only a couple of shots - may take a few. I just don't know. I'm a reasonably decent looking guy - pleasant, clean,cultured with a strange obsession. Need someone to cure me of it. Ideally I'd like a slim, small lady to do this - the more vulnerable looking the better somehow.


Tuesday 4 September 2007

F*ck RMT!! F*ck the lot of them!

How naive was I to think that the tube strike wouldn't affect me?! Could barely get a spot on the train to and from work - it was that packed! Work was no better. No, it wasn't packed. I just have to deal with lazy managers that are stupid as f*ck!

All in all, this week isn't shaping up to much. As for the responses to my ad on Craigslist, let's just say I won't be responding to any of those responses any time soon.

Monday 3 September 2007

My Prize Pick of the Day ... 03/09/07

Tube strike - m4w - 41
Date: 2007-09-03, 12:45PM BST

Would anyone like to make the best of the tube strike tonight or tomorrow? I am a good-looking, fit City professional with a lovely river-view flat -- no tube required. Drinks, a nice dinner, and somewhere to stat [sic] tonight, walkable to the City tomorrow morning!

[You have to love the creativity of this post - pity I only use the overland rail to get to work ... ]

Saturday 1 September 2007

New ad

Daniel's away for a while in the next couple of weeks, so impulsively decided to post an ad on the Craigslist London Casual Encounters page. If you'd like to see it, I've included the link here and pasted it below.

Possible possibilities - w4m - 23
Reply to:
pers-411597319@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-09-01, 7:45PM BST

Will be at a loose end in one of the coming weeks and looking for someone to keep me company.

My stats: F, 23, 5'4", 8 (not my shoe size!), very attractive with a great body, solvent, well-spoken and very polite when in public, a complete and total _______ in private (you fill in the blank).

Your stats: M, 20 - 35 (no exceptions!), 5'10" and above, (couldn't care less about your shoe size, just don't be a trainer-wearing "hoodie"), very attractive with a great body, solvent, not attached, well-spoken and very polite when in public, a complete and total ________ in private (I'll fill in that blank).

Face pics appreciated and prioritised (if I like what I see and read, you'll get one in return). Dick pics, pic-collectors, spelling mistakes/grammatical errors and "one-liners" aren't.



We'll see how it goes. So far, I'm not holding out much hope ... but at least I've had a couple of laughs. Maybe you'll get to see/read what tickled my funny bone in the next few days ...

P.S. - In case you didn't notice, I've also included the anonymous Craigslist email address assigned to me. If any of you think you can do better than most of the men on there, then you're more than welcome to try your luck!

Wednesday 29 August 2007

The eternal battle ....

... between myself and crockery ...

(Just in case you were wondering - the crockery lost!)

Tuesday 28 August 2007

Isn't family a b*tch?!

I've always been known as the weird one in my family. The one with the violent mood swings, the quick temper, the tendency to beat (and bite!) the crap out of anyone who pissed me off. Add to that my lack of Catholic morals and you've pretty much got a bad 'un right there.

However, for someone labelled the black sheep, I'm a fucking paragon of responsibility. I've fought tooth and nail to get to where I am without their help and come up smelling of roses. And despite me wanting to hate them as much as I should, I find myself caring more than I ought to. But no more. The past week has been about making changes, so here are a few steady and true facts to set me on my merry way post-Bank Holiday Monday:

1. I am a bitch. I always have been and always will be. These intermittent slip-ups where I actually give a fuck about certain people are just blips on my bitch record.

2. I am only going to care about people who care about me. And no, not people who say that they do, but those who show it on a regular basis. Words are like arseholes - everyone's got them and, more often than not, they're full of shit!

3. I refuse to make decisions for people any more. Sure, I might point them in the direction of the rising tide, but whether they sink or swim is up to them.

4. Fear and respect can (and should) sometimes mean one and the same thing.

5. Revenge can be extremely satisfying. So can active, heartless and resolute sabotage!

6. Did I mention that I was a bitch?

Now all I have to do is repeat these statements of wisdom when I find myself slipping up and I should be just fine.

P.S. - To those that say that girls mature faster than boys, that's just an excuse made up by paedophiles and idiotic bastards in the middle of a mid-life crisis. At 16, if you're old enough to fuck (which, in the UK, you are), then you're old enough to stop other people fucking you over.

My Prize Pick of the Day ... 28/08/07

My wife is asleep. Want to cum on her? - mw4mm - 32
Date: 2007-08-28, 2:01AM BST


We're an American couple here on vacation. We decided to go out for some dinner and drinks and my wife has become completely hammered and is passed out on our hotel bed. I would love to see a guy come over and masturbate over her if you can be quiet. Think you're up for this?

[Once again, let us rejoice in the consistency that is Craigslist-London!]

Saturday 25 August 2007

Absinthe-ing in Clapham

Finally decided to get off my lazy butt and get out of the house for a bit. Went to a pal's house party in Clapham where we proceeded to do see just how much absinthe we could handle. You'll be pleased to know that I came second. You won't be pleased to know that I now have a raging hangover (feels like a meat cleaver continuously slicing into my brain matter!).

As is usually the case, where there's alcohol, there's sex. Sex this time came in the form of the absinthe winner Joshua* - lovely guy I've met on a few occasions, but I just never bit the bullet. Well, this time, I bit the bullet and much more! Felt rather wrong though - he's just so sweet and unassuming, and I initially felt like I was taking advantage of him being drunk et al. Fat chance of that! He's a dirty little f*cker (pardon my French!)! There are some people that say, show me how a person has sex and I'll tell you who they are (ok, fine, not some people - me!!). Joshua's carnal behaviour last night DOES NOT translate into the reality of what you see in real time, which just makes it all the more shocking. No, I am not going into salacious details as my head is still reeling (and no, that's not just the alcohol!) . Let's just say certain objects and actions were involved that would make Ron Jeremy blush and convert to Buddhism ...

Embarrassed I might be, but God, I'm SO glad I abolished the one-time rule!!!!

PS - I know my "Prize Picks of the Day" have been a little thin on the ground. Craigslist has been unusually quiet ... (but we all know that will change!)

Monday 20 August 2007

What a difference a day makes ...

From being blissfully happy to being in a downright rotten mood. In fact, I'm wallowing in a pool of self pity. Don't worry, it'll pass - no doubt helped along by the fact that, after a long hiatus, I've finally managed to score a replacement pot dealer. This time, I won't make the mistake I made with my former one - shagging your drug dealer is NEVER a good idea!!! Letting him move halfway across the world without at least getting you a replacement - even worse!

In fact, I'm turning a lot of things in my life around -
1. The one-time rule has been officially abolished - it was too hard to keep to it.
2. Recreational drugs are back on the menu - see above.
3. I'm now shagging couples sans Daniel. So many females to turn, so little time ...
4. I'm listening to music again - cheesy pop, soppy ballads, old time classics, grunge, jazz, Simon and Garfunkel, Rufus Wainwright's "Hallelujah", Meditation from Thais the opera (you name it, I've got it on my iTunes player - even embarrassing Disney songs from my childhood!)
5. I finally finished Dostoevsky's Crime and Punishment - I kept putting the Epilogue off as it made me too upset (yes, I'm a weirdo who gets ridiculously attached to novels!)
6. I'm learning to accept my scars of previous years - insane rage and self-harming will fuck you up, but so will denial.

Of course, all of this might change in an instant. But for now, I'm going to enjoy it all for as long as I can.

Suddenly, I feel better :-)

Sunday 19 August 2007

My Prize Pick of the Day ... 19/08/07

Tart With A Heart? - m4w - 60 (Have car can travel)
Date: 2007-08-19, 10:08PM BST


I'm a 60 year old man with impotence caused by a combination of illness (nothing life threatening nor contagious) and old age.

However, I have an insatiable libido and I'm looking for some mutual oral enjoyment. Although I am unable to fuck you senseless, I have honed my oral skills to almost an art form and can lick you to the point of orgasm and beyond.

Perhaps you would like to reciprocate and endeavour to blow some life into my flacid, wrinkled pathetic little cock?

I'm sure that with the right partner, a little patience and some tlc, we can get this thing licked.

I cannot accommodate but can travel.

[He really knows how to make it sound so appealing ... Poor thing ...]

Sometimes

I sometimes don't realise just how lucky I am. The anniversary came and went - Daniel and I went for a lovely meal at Saran Rom, came back home and settled on the sofa to watch "Starter for 10" (very funny and moving movie). Whilst we were watching it, I kept thinking how I missed out on a lot of things back in those days - living in my university's halls of residence, the crazy parties that went on, the friendships that were forged (and broken) and just revelling in the sheer joy of crazily immature youth.

Then I gave myself a mental slap across the face.

I'm lucky enough to have gone to university and come out with some really great grades. Sure, I didn't go to as many parties as I wanted but I went to enough to know that, after a while, puking up in the guttering nearby moaning about the lack of a meaningful other is totally overrated. Whilst they were sleeping with random people and returned back to reality pricking their consciences about what they'd done/who they'd cheated on, I was sleeping with random people and getting to go back home to Daniel, without the obligatory guilt trips. Whilst some of them are undertaking Masters degrees to shy away from having to face real life as fully fledged adults, I've just landed myself another great job that pays (dare I say it) ridiculously well. My future isn't riddled with uncertainty and unanswerable questions. In my twenties, I have a great job, a great man (who lets me get away with murder!) and more-than-affordable mortgages on home and overseas properties, the values of which are increasing so well that I need do nothing but sit on my arse and watch the money roll in. I can do everything my contemporaries do and have a hell of a lot that they don't.

I sometimes don't realise just how lucky I am. Then again, sometimes, I do.

(Happy Anniversary, Daniel!)

Thursday 16 August 2007

I need to get some fucking sleep!!

Went out for a party last night for a website called www.beautifulpeople.net. For those who aren't in the know, it's a dating site where you upload your face picture and the current members get to vote you in or out depending on how beautiful they think you are. Votes range from "Yes! Certainly!!" to "No! Not at all". I know, it sounds naff, doesn't it? lol. I joined up in April 2005 when it first started in the UK (of course I got voted in!!!) and had a blast of a summer with the crazy people I met on there. One memorable "party" involved taking a bouncy castle, ice-cream machine, lots of weed and even more alcohol to Hampstead Heath. We did get our fair share of disapproving tuts from the matriarchal elite who pass through there with their Third-World-looking starving chihuahuas. We all also ended up having sex (lots of sex!!) with each other - one-on-one, boy-girl, boy-boy, girl-girl, girl-girl-boy, girl-boy-girl, boy-girl-boy, boy-boy-girl-boy-girl-girl etc. If I'd drawn a map/chart, it would have looked like a spider's web woven whilst good old spidey was on crystal meth.

Annnyway - the party last night was held at Mahiki which, as everyone knows, is one of the "high end" clubs, frequented by celebrities, royalty and your stereotypical Euro-trash, that is no more than a glorified cattle market. I decided to go pretty last minute but got there in good time to bump into Tom* - one of my boy-girl-girl flings from the heady days of 2005. Tom's a very odd guy - no, seriously, extremely odd. He's got the strongest Scottish brogue I've ever heard so you can't understand a fucking word of what he's saying but then you kind of get lost looking at the physical "perfection" he embodies and, suddenly, verbal communication doesn't seem to be all that important any more. But no, this isn't about Tom - sure, we exchanged numbers again and mumbled vague suggestions about going to another party later that night together, but it pretty much ended there. You see, Tom, as beautiful as he is, has a certain problem referred to as "coke dick" - you know, when a guy's had so much fucking coke that his member can't do more than wilt sadly, no matter how hard you try to coax it into something a bit more, erm, "substantial". So no Tom action.

I did, however, start chatting to a guy I thought was Tom's friend who I later found out had only just met Tom at the bar earlier in the evening. Harry* - smart clued up air-force guy, 41, divorced, two kids, tall (very tall!) with yummy hazel eyes. When Tom et al decided to go on to a house party elsewhere, Harry and I decided to stick it out for a bit longer. We got chatting politics and one drink led to another ... To be fair, Harry was a perfect gentleman who walked me to Victoria to catch my train - AFTER he somehow managed to guide/lure me into his flat nearby with heavenly promises of food (actual food!) - pitta bread, humous, cherry tomatoes and fresh watercress (drooling even now). I never did get to finish the food - I somehow ended up naked in Harry's bed with him giving me an all over massage that felt bloody marvellous. Then followed six hours of really intense, really sweaty sex. His oral skills couldn't be faulted (tres enthusiastic) and I think I managed to lose count of how many fingers he had. It could have been ten, could have been fifty - all I know is that they were all over, everywhere. The only thing I could possibly fault is the taste of his cum (yes, I swallow - unless it really is nigh on impossible to do so without being sick!) - what is it with healthy guys on great diets who have the most bitter tasting stuff emanating from their dicks?! Very odd. But then again, that's one fault out of a series of faultless sessions of sex.

One interesting thing he said to me - when he first laid eyes on me in the club and spoke to me, he thought I was a butter-wouldn't-melt kinda girl. Why do all the men I end up shagging think this? Do I give off some kind of Virgin Mary vibe? I don't mind, not really - it's just that think of all the other cute guys (and girls!) I could have ended up shagging if only they realised that my posh-lady act was a front in the real world for a really debased, depraved, roving sexuality. I think I might have to get a tshirt that says, "Totally fuckable, and yes, "butter" would definitely melt and dribble down this posh girl's chin". Silly, but it might do the trick :)

I finally left Harry's at 7 a.m. this morning exhausted and happy. Which starts to beg the question- what am I doing up writing about this when I should be catching up on some well-deserved shut eye?! A perfectly reasonable question, the answer to which is that I've been masturbating pretty much non-stop since I got home. Yes, slutty and crazy - a great combination :)

PS - I never did get Harry's number. Or his last name. I can't even remember his address (that's how dazed and confused I was when I left!). Chances are I'm never going to see or speak to him ever again - a true and proper one night stand with a complete and total stranger. Probably for the best though - that'll be a great way of sticking to my "one-time" rule ...

Monday 13 August 2007

My Prize Pick of the Day ... 13/08/07

Seeking Secks - m4m - 27
Date: 2007-08-13, 12:39PM BST


I'm str8 and engaged, but not sure why I love sucking cock so much *** .....

[*** Hmmm, could it be because you're actually - shock, horror - bi/gay???]
P.S. - Couldn't be arsed pasting the rest :-)

Saturday 11 August 2007

It's that time of the year again ...

Fever is having yet another Open House on the 7th of September, same time and same place as the last one. Yet again, I'm in two minds about going. Then again, Daniel will be around for this one. Then again, I don't want to get pawed by Jon whilst Lisa looks on fuming. Then again, I could just tell him to fuck off. Then again .....

Ah, fuck it. I'm not going!

Wednesday 8 August 2007

My Prize Pick of the Day ... 08/08/07 (It's a tie!!!)

Sexy lips... - w4m - 28
Date: 2007-08-08, 10:23AM BST


I would like to do lips enhancement and booked a visit on the 15th of August.

It is gonna cost me £370.

Who would like to make it happen? :)

I would like to meet one guy only! I am not into many so do not bother if you are not happy to offer your help in full.
It is gonna be a one off meeting at your place for a couple of hours to show you how grateful I can be :) I promise, you will never regret it..This includes sex, not a BJ only! I am very open minded in a bed deparrment and happy to explore other scenes too (3sums, swinger clubs, fetish, role plays, etc)

Me: young, tall, curvy, great tanned body, high maintenance and kinky blonde :)

I would like to know something about you before we meet and see your face picture, I do not go for blind dates. If you are younger than 27 please do not reply to this post.


This is a very genuine ad and I require genuine replies.

Offer ends on the 14th of August!

[I would like to get a personal trainer but it's going to cost me £400 a month. Who would like to make it happen? :-) Obviously, if you just so happen to be a hot personal trainer yourself, all the better! We can forego the £400 and, in exchange, I'd like a rock hard _______ ]

My Prize Pick of the Day ... 08/08/07

mature woman to cum in my mouth - m4w - 45
Date: 2007-08-08, 10:14AM BST


you must be STD free. I'll come along lick you off make you cum in my mouth and be gone. MUST be under size 16 Would help if you could pay my fares as am unemployed at moment* Extra points if married with kids more chance of being STD free...

[Erm, when did I miss the memo that we could now recoup travel costs from our casual encounters???]

* emphasis added by Ed

Gossip

I'm like every other red-blooded female out there - I love a good bit of gossip. Even malicious gossip has its place - just so long as it isn't directed at me. I have to admit I do waste a lot of time during the day looking at gossip blogs. Sad, but true. Then again, it's just like daydreaming - totally useless, but we all still do it once in a while.

Anyway, there are so many "celebrity" gossip blogs out there that there really is something for everyone. But my absolute fave has to be Dlisted.com. MK, the guy who writes it, is absolutely hilarious and has the tongue of a viper. I could learn a thing or two from him about really mean put-downs ... He's also, lest I fail to mention, an equal opportunity blogger. Everyone that knows me knows that I'm all for equality and diversity in all things. Unlike other "unmentioned" blogs where the blogger is fairly selective about who and what they write about (those who waste as much time on these things as I do will know who I'm talking about), with MK, what you see is what you get - evil, humorous wit in its truest form. So long live dlisted!

PS - If he just so happens to read this, damn you for getting me addicted!!!
PPS - Feel free to send a cheque in the post for such marvellous product placement!

Tuesday 7 August 2007

My Prize Pick of the Day ... 07/08/07

afternoon fun? - m4w - 43
Date: 2007-08-07, 10:16AM BST


looking for a young student or single mum to have some afternoon fun with today. Will bring my wallet and come to a happy comprimise [sic]. I am good looking,clean and discreet. Good body so come on ladies...we could have a great time. Hope to hear soon x

[Ok, why is this a "Prize Pick", I hear you ask? There's just something rather saddening and repulsive about these "Pyotr Petrovich Luzhin"s on Craigslist. For some strange reason, they seem to believe that they are "too good" for a regular escort and, instead, seek to prey on people who are most likely down on their luck and, as a result, rather vulnerable. Then again, who am I to judge what most people might claim is simply an exchange of required services ... *sigh*]

PS - I'm obviously in a miserable, overly-pious mood today. Don't worry. It will pass (probably a lot sooner than it should ...)

Monday 6 August 2007

My Prize Pick of the Day ... 06/08/07

cheesy nob - m4m
Date: 2007-08-06, 10:08AM BST


hi fellas any one with an unwashed cheesy helmet, love the smell taste and being forced to clean it slowly...builder copper geeza wnated [sic]

Saturday 4 August 2007

Suitable anniversary activity

Daniel and I have our anniversary coming up, and we're not entirely sure what to do. We've been together for quite a while now and it would be nice to do something special, perhaps even something different. At the moment, I'm torn between a hum-drum meal at a restaurant, or sorting out a special "party" (me, him and a few others).

Was talking to Mark the other day, and he mentioned he'd been to Spearmint Rhino recently. Don't worry, he thought it was shit too, but he also mentioned Stringfellows as well. That's one thing I'm yet to do (go to a female strip club) and who better to share the experience with than Daniel? I do wonder whether there's something rather tasteless about it, especially as an anniversary thing but, then again, how much more tasteful would a swingers party be?

Decisions, decisions, decisions ... if anyone has a better idea, do let me know.

My Prize Pick of the Day ... 04/08/07

I will pay to smell men's sweaty socks - 38
Date: 2007-08-04, 8:18AM BST


love to worship your sweaty socks and kiss your feet sir,thats all i want master, come and relax , have a beer, and put yor sweaty feet in my face as i worship you, please can i give you thirty quid to earn permission to kiss your soles. very genuine, goodlooking and submissive

[I knew Craigslist wouldn't keep disappointing me ... :-)]

Friday 3 August 2007

Bored, and in pain

Not feeling my usual perky self today, but you'll be pleased to know that I did finally email Royal Marine Guy. Figured it was rather rude of me not to respond to his texts. It's a definite "no", boys and girls, though he has made it clear he's willing to "accommodate" me during any moments of weakness that might arise lol. Shame, really, because he is quite a sweet guy.

I'm finding myself inordinately bored with Craigslist today. I did respond to one of the posts there yesterday [Simple - m4w - 29]. He obviously liked my picture enough to get back to me, but unfortunately, I didn't like what I saw in the picture he sent me. No, he wasn't ugly, just not my type (whatever that is - it seems to change constantly!).

As for today's posts, they're all pretty boring and/or mundane, so no Prize Picks for you, I'm afraid. Maybe it's because of the "Friday Feeling". Apparently, British businesses are losing £50 million pounds a year all because people don't realise that Friday afternoon is still work time. I think they may have a point ... but then again, maybe people are just unofficially claiming back their unpaid overtime accumulated during the other four days of the week - that, or we really just can't be arsed to feign interest in work when the weekend's literally right under our noses.

Either way, here's hoping the Craigslist talent picks up next week ...

Thursday 2 August 2007

Gumtree!!!

In recognition of the fact that there are just as many crazy people on there (if not more!) than they have on Craigslist London, Gumtree has been added to the honor role on "My Sites of Interest". For those in the dark, please look to the right.

To welcome Gumtree to the fold, I have a special Gumtree Prize Pick of the Day:

Calling human females Age 55
Date: Thursday 2 August


Calling Human Females

I will be visiting your delightful planet in the near future and have been instructed To take up residence in a city called “London” the location will be in the NW of that city in an area called Kilburn.

As a visitor to your delightful planet I have been tasked with finding out more about your methods of reproduction, to that end I am seeking volunteers who would like the opportunity to help interplanetary relations expand in hitherto unexplored directions.

The subject (me) has assumed the appearance of a human male of approx 55 years of age (but surprisingly we have ascertained that he actually looks younger).

He is (in local measurements) 6 feet 3 inches tall and weighs around 13 stone, and is “ahem” built in proportion. Whatever THAT means.

He has eyes of blue (very strange you Earth people. BLUE eyes?) Short brown hair with I’m told a neat beard.

Fortunately for you the very attractive 3rd and 4th eyes have been concealed, as has been the beautiful bright blue and green skin of my people, I have also been told that the majority of your females would not appreciate the natural color of our eyes. Or the tentacles that grow from the back of our skull, so they have of course been concealed (which is VERY uncomfortable for me)

I have been allocated my own accommodation so privacy can be maintained to protect your identity .

Should you wish to be one of the lucky (?) females please observe the following conditions

1.You should be at least 5feet 6 inches tall and in proportion, by which we mean your weight should be in proportion to your height (we have been asked to find healthy specimens only. …Sorry)

2.In age you should be between 30 years of age and no more than that of the apparent age of the subject (me), which is 55 years of age.

3.Eye and hair color is not of great importance, what IS more important is that you possess both.

4.A sense of humor would also be appreciated.

Since this posting to your planet is likely to be a long one I would appreciate a longer term relationship, which would give me much greater opportunity for study.

Looking forward to teaching you all the wonderful things we get up to on my planet, Karma Sutra………. huh……….for beginners!

In anticipation, I am ……Kzztip

(There was a pic at the end so, for those who are interested, feel free to click the titled link! Please also get in touch so I can give you the number of my psychiatrist ...)

Tuesday 31 July 2007

It's all rather unfair

I've come to realise that I am very unfortunate in my choice of location - where I live, that is. I mean, it's great that Daniel and I are on the housing ladder; we can be smug, self-assured and protected, all by four simpe walls (and a 30% rise in our property's value since we bought it). What is unfair is that, having lived here now for three years to the day, I've come to realise that there are NO cute guys within a 20 mile vicinity of where I live.

South London has always had, and continues to have, a disparaging reputation. It's the land of chavs, council blocks and mugger-ridden tube stations that are few and far between. It is on the up though - going past Clapham, it's amazing how much the area has changed. Even bloody Brockley, a former wasteland, is on the up. So why oh why does my particular borough have to be so desolate and depressing? I started going to the local gym last year (for non-sex related reasons) but I am yet to find any male specimen who could be considered vaguely attractive. My fellow gym-goers can be divided into very distinct groups.

1. The fatties: huffing and puffing away on the elliptical trainers, barely breaking past the optimum cardio heartrate of a 70 year old
2. The musclies: invariably muscular, invariably short and facially challenged
3. The avies: skinny geeks on the bike mentally drooling over the latest pimp-and-ho MTV music video
4. The oldies: self-explanatory, really.

I even did a search on AdultFriendFinder to see what I came up with. The most attractive option I came across was a couple with a BNBW (Big [Not Beautiful!] Woman) and her cross-dressing balding husband. Yum(!)

So what am I to do? Keep shelling out for 1 hour taxi rides and late-night trains? Depressing, but looks like that's not going to change anytime soon. So, if any of you happen to know a cute single kinky under-35 male that lives in a South East London postcode, do let me know.

Monday 30 July 2007

My prize pick of the day .... 30/07/07

Anyone Into Age Play? I'll Be Your Baby - m4w - 38
Date: 2007-07-30, 8:54AM BST


I am 38 year old businessman. I really like age play and I love being a baby, complete with dummy, nappy (no peeing unless okay with you, and definitely nothing else), baby food, bottle with juice, etc.

This can include sex or not include sex.

Alternatively I am looking for a woman to be my "babysitter" - all you do is give me my bottle/baby food, change my nappy (peeing only if ok with you), wiping down my ****, lotioning me up, maybe giving me a bath, settling me in for bed, giving me my dummy. Could make this a regular thing.

I REALLY want to explore this as soon as possible, if you're willing to provide the items, even better! I am available anytime that is good for both of us.

I'm British, good looking and fun!!

(Peeing myself with laughter ... [only if ok with you!])

Now it's over, what next?

Back from holiday. Would love to say I'm feeling refreshed and wonderful, but that would be a stretch and a half! It's amazing how coming back to grey skies and the utter shittineess of one's life can take away all the ecstatic glee one managed to acquire while musing about on gorgeous beaches and by luxurious swimming pools.

To be fair, the holiday was rather brilliant. Did nothing other than eat, drink, drink some more and engage in almost no real sort of activity whatsoever. Spent a week on a wonderful island (can't really tell you where though) with miles of pure white sand beaches and clear blue waters. I did partake in an underwater boating trip, but spent most of the time distracted by the captain - all 6'2", tanned, tall, Portugese inch of him. Saw him the following day on the main stretch of beach when he proceeded to flirt outrageously and hand me his number. I had a giggle about that with Daniel afterwards. Yes, I did take the number, and yes, I promptly lost it on purpose. I do have some sort of moral code, which happens to include not indulging in trysts with random men whilst on a special holiday with the other half!

So now I'm back, what next? Trying my best to stay off AFF (it's scarily easily to find men to shag on there) and concentrating on work (I think!). I got a text from Royal Marine guy whilst I was away. He's off to Afghanistan in September and would like to meet up again. I haven't responded to it, and I don't think I ever will. As great as he was, I'm slowly learning that my usual one-time rule is best adhered to! I also got an email from Craig who apparently is now single. Should I or shouldn't I? Will let you know in due course ...

Tuesday 10 July 2007

Regatta loving in Henley

Got back from Henley yesterday morning after spending Saturday and Sunday night with a very good friend, Eric*, for his birthday. Forgot how manic Regatta weekend gets - Paddington Station was a mad-house on Saturday! Managed to squeeze on to a train - barely! - and even then, I was half- lapping some girl for the duration of the journey (and no, she wasn't cute enough to make it worth it!).

Didn't do much once I got there. Lazed about in the garden, swigging back copious amounts of Pimms and scoffing down barbecue food (yum!) There were only about six of us, so it didn't turn into some wild out-of-control rave. We headed up to the Barn Bar for the fireworks where I bumped into Andrew*, some guy I got together with about two years ago. I swore I wasn't who he thought I was, made my excuses and left. Truth be told, he was so off his trolley that he probably believed me! lol.

Strolled back from the Barn Bar with Sid*, a friend of Eric's who I'd met two years ago when I visited Eric up north. We did share a kiss back in the day, but that was just to test whether we were both good kissers, or so we said (yes, we were young, pissed and high!). We got on really well then, so it was great having him keep me company on the walk back to Eric's, especially seeing as I was so drunk I kept veering towards the Thames :) Lord knows what we talked about but I distinctly remember us jumping each other about two minutes away from Eric's front door. I'll say this much - simulated sex on a gravel driveway, unless you're really really REALLY drunk, is not the most comfortable of scenarios lol. No, I didn't sleep with him, but Lord knows I wanted to.

We jumped each other again the next day. Fairly risky as we were in plain view of Eric's window. I felt tres guilty, mainly because I've slept with way too many of Eric's friends, something I don't think he's too happy about. To be fair, I've also almost slept with Eric, so perhaps I should tell him to get off his bloody high horse (oral sex with another girl when you already have a girlfriend IS cheating, no matter how you try to spin it!)! So no, didn't shag Sid, but my guess is I probably will at some point. It's just a question of when. (I have so little self control!)

On a separate note, off on holiday tomorrow for two weeks which should be fun. I never did get my body into bikini-ready shape, but hey, I could always suck it in. Failing that, I can pretend to be pregnant. Daniel would love that(!) Fun times :) x

Fever Friday et al

So how'd the party go? Not too bad, actually. Met a good number of people, four of whom happened to recognise me from my AdultFriendFinder profile (scary!). Yes, Jon and Lisa were there. Was good to see them again, but Jon's got to learn not to be so pushy. He kept trying to keep hold of me all evening, which was rather annoying at the very least, especially when Lisa had already made it clear she was not in the mood to "play". Poor thing. I think they ended the night on a really bad argument because the last I saw of them, Lisa was storming back to their hotel with Jon several feet behind her looking very sheepish. Men - when will you all learn?!

No, I didn't end up going back with anyone but I did get some numbers and had a quick fumble here and there. Not sure if I'll be going to the next Fever event - to be fair, the average age of the people there seems to be edging closer and closer to the late thirties/early forties. Yes, I'm ageist. Deal with it!

Saturday night wasn't so good at first. Daniel was still away till Monday, the house was so empty and quiet and I was bouncing off the walls. Tried to convince Mark (see below) to meet up, but he was having none of it. I settled myself on the couch, resigning myself to a night in, but got a call from a friend, James*, and met up with him and his friends at Edgware Road. We all went back to his in Maida Vale to continue partying the night away. Totally convinced myself I wasn't going to end up in bed with him again. Fat chance! I ended up in bed with him and two of his male friends. Blame the Red Bull and Coke (both kinds!) Had a good time, but a hell of a comedown on Sunday morning. Didn't get home till 10 a.m., at which point I had a shower, changed my clothes and popped out of the house again to see some family. Luckily, they either didn't notice or didn't comment on the bloodshot eyes and incoherent ramblings.

Ended up at Mark's later that day and didn't leave till about 2 a.m. Monday morning. Had a great time again, but very odd frisson in the air. Can't explain it, but suffice to say I don't think I'll be meeting up with him again. Damn shame, but what can one do?

Don't worry. I might have had a crazy weekend but those tend to be few and far between, rather than the norm. I did have a lot of fun though. Kind of almost makes me wish I were single and could do stuff (and people!) like that all the time ...

(Then I realise that that's just crazy talk!!) x

Thursday 28 June 2007

I hate pressure!!

There's another Fever Open House party tomorrow, and not sure if I can be bothered to go. It wouldn't be an issue if Jon* and Lisa* (the couple Daniel and I got together with at the previous Open House) didn't keep texting me to come along, share their hotel room etc. I keep texting them back to say that I'm fairly busy that day and not sure if I'll be up to it. The last thing I want to do is make a commitment to turn up and then not bother. That's just not me! (You know me, the figurehead of politeness!)

Problem is they've still kept texting me (we're up to six texts so far!) and I'm getting sick of it! I've already explained that I might not be able to make it. Anyway, even if I do go, I don't see why I should restrict or pigeonhole myself to one couple, regardless of whether or not I enjoyed their company last time. I like to keep my options open, like everyone else. I'd simply tell them that, but again, I'm too polite for my own good. I've already said that if I don't meet up with them tomorrow, we can arrange some other time this summer, so I don't know why they just don't get the hint and get over it! What makes it even more annoying is it's Jon that's been texting from his phone, not Lisa (despite the fact she was the one who took my number in the first place). Women are so much more perceptive - I bet if I'd explained the situation to Lisa instead of Jon in the first place, she'd have understood and let it go. Which makes me think that Jon isn't telling Lisa he's been texting me constantly - and that, my friends, is NOT good! I'd probably text her to let her know that he's been texting me, but I've been in a similar situation before and it didn't work out so well.

Basically, the male half of a couple I'd met before kept calling for me to meet up with them. I casually mentioned it to his partner in passing when I saw her online on MSN, and it turns out she had no idea! As you can imagine, all hell broke loose! She accused him of just wanting cheat under the guise of swinging, she accused ME of leading him on and getting him to lie to her (as if!), he accused ME of being mean and vindictive .... and I ... let's just say I blocked the both of them and told them to fuck off! I don't need that sort of drama in my life!

So, I've sent Jon an email (yes, he's been emailing me, AS WELL AS texting!) telling him (yet again) that I'm not sure I'll be coming, but if I do, I'll definitely come over and say hello. Let's hope he gets it this time!

Tuesday 26 June 2007

Pleasant surprise ...

Met up with Royal Marine guy (RM) yesterday afternoon at London Bridge and was pleasantly surprised. I'm like your average civilian - we all think soldier type people are a bit on the dim side (or maybe that's just me?) Anyway, we got on quite well, and had a looooong discussion about the Iraq war (casual sex and intelligent conversation make a great combination lol). We parted ways three hours and four rounds later - I tend not to make a habit of sleeping with people the very day I meet them.

Turns out that rule didn't work out too well yesterday. Got home, and came to my senses. I mean, Daniel's away, the house was empty, Tim Henman was losing YET again, and I was faced with an evening of nothing - why put myself through that when there was a willing partner in crime less than an hour away?! So called up RM and went over to his place. I got there at 10.30 p.m. and didn't leave till 6.00 a.m. this morning. Actually, that's not entirely accurate - I was MEANT to leave at 6.00 a.m. - got up, started getting dressed, then got pulled back and stripped down again! lol. Not divulging too many details; suffice to say that we broke the bed - literally! - and I left exhausted and happy. Oh, and I'm totally convinced that there's some sort of oral revolution going on - men are suddenly a lot less selfish and a lot more giving. Whatever it is, I'm not complaining! Long may it live!!!

Off for now. Am yet to get any proper sleep so feel a bit on the weird side. Maybe I'll put a bit more down when I'm a bit more alive :)

Tuesday 12 June 2007

Getting back to normal (I think!)

It's been an eventful week. Finally starting to relax after a particularly stressful period last month (though 5 a.m. starts are still par for course!). Daniel's back, but is off again later this month. I keep trying to guilt him about his carbon footprint, but he just reminds me that my tobacco habit isn't helping matters either! I suppose he's right. Then again, I don't drive so no need to feel that bad just yet.

I'm currently chatting on MSN Messenger to some Army Guy* - sorry, Royal Marine! (I stand corrected) - I met off AdultFriendFinder. Spoke to him very briefly on the phone last night - can't place his accent, but he's definitely not a local Londoner. Seen him on cam as well (only face up, mind!). Cute mug, nice smile (oh, and I've just seen his shoulders! lol), but I don't know if I can be bothered. Emotional fatigue, a close friend of mine calls it. Daniel and I have been having issues, which we're getting round pretty well - a great mixture of long talks and more and more sex! - so not sure if I want to keep meeting up with random people. To be honest, I don't think I have the energy! Plus, pretty sure Army Guy - sorry, Royal Marine! - is just a bit of an enforced distraction from Mark.

Talking about Mark, I'm trying to limit the amount of time I spend chatting to him, and failing miserably! He's way too cute for his own good, he listens to all the trash that spills out of my mouth and from my fingers, AND he's a great lay! Now, if God really did love me, He'd have given him the sexual prowess of a Venetian God coupled with a shitty personality. That way, sex the one time would have been more than enough. Seems like God feels that it's payback time for all the sinning I've been up to ... So fine! God, if you're reading, I'm fucking sorry, alright?! Well, till the next time, at any rate ....

PS - I'll let you know how it goes with Army Guy - sorry, Royal Marine!

Sunday 3 June 2007

German, Swedish and Hotness all rolled into one! Pt II

Finally met up with Mark* on Wednesday. All I can say is, oh my God! I hardly ever use the word "beautiful" to describe a guy, but I shall have to make an exception in this case. Tall, floppy blonde hair, bright blue eyes and the nicest smile I've seen in a long while. We met in front of Temple tube station and went out for a drink at a bar just off the Strand. I don't think I stopped staring at him the two hours we were there. Nothing happened (though, Lord knows, I was scanning through a list of the nearest hotels in my mind), but we did decide to meet up again.

And we did. Friday night in Covent Garden. It was a bit of a spontaneous one (or at least, that's what HE thinks!). We went back to his sometime after midnight and, I have to say, the next four and a half hours were the most amazing and intense I've experienced in a long while. He's most definitely a giver - oral sex was never so good (or prolonged!) I've got tingles running down my spine just remembering everything we did. Oh, and can I just say: alternating between one's warm tongue and ice on a woman's clit will drive her crazy! Or at least, it did me!

My only problem? I can't stop thinking about it (and him!) I've pretty much masturbated myself awake and to sleep (and everything in between) since then! This poses a bit of a dilemma. My head's telling me that continuing to meet up with him would be a bad and dangerous idea (sex that great can only get more and more addictive!) Why is this a bad thing? Well, I've never had sex like that with anyone other than Daniel, and there's always a far and distant danger of indulging oneself with one person at the expense of the other, the latter usually being one's long-term partner! Or so most people tell me ....

Maybe I'm just getting ahead of myself. Mark's made it very clear that he wants to meet up again. And no, before you start wondering, he's only looking for no strings sex, nothing more. So am I. But good sex (sorry, amazing sex!) can't ever truly come with no strings, can it? I'll just have to see how it goes ... (and keep recharging my vibrator batteries in the meantime!)

* all names have been changed to protect the guilty

Thursday 24 May 2007

German, Swedish and Hotness all rolled into one!

Daniel's been away for a while, so I decided to log on to AdultFriendFinder to check out the "talent" on there. I use the word "talent" in the loosest sense - there are uncountable horrors on there. But, wonder of wonders, I came across an actual hottie. German/Swedish, former model with a body to prove it. Didn't get the chance to meet up last weekend, but a meet should be on the cards for next week, once I get some work out of the way. Keep fantasizing about what I'm going to do to (and with!) him. Let's hope my expectations don't exceed the reality. I'll keep you posted!

PS - Daniel, if you're reading this, I do miss you! Just don't come back too soon ....

Sunday 6 May 2007

My prize pick of the day .... 06/05/07

I'd like to put my toe in your bottom. - 20
Date: 2007-05-06, 4:41PM BST

Hello,

I'd like to put my toe in your bottom. I have two big toes, one with a regular nail, and the other with no nail or nail bed. This means I can guarantee a uniquely smooth toe-in-bum experience, or if you like a bit of rough, I can use the nailed one, or both.

No timewasters.


PS - I normally don't post photos, but this you HAD to see!! hehe

Sunday 29 April 2007

Dinner and an unforgettable night out

I've only just recovered from what proved to be an eventful Fever Open House. It was held in a gorgeous riverside bar in Chelsea and the partner (Daniel*) and I got to have dinner in the yummy restaurant below. There were other couples having dinner as well and we had massive fun trying to guess which ones would later be proceeding to the private upstairs bar and sneaking glances towards the stairs to check out those who weren't in the mood for dinner being enthusiastically led upstairs.

All in all, it wasn't a bad night. By the time we were done with dinner and went up, there were close to 150 people already there, all extremely attractive. Having gone to the previous Open House in central London sans the partner (who was away on business), I recognized a couple who had also been there and spent a while chatting with them. However, Daniel gave me a nudge - our signal that he wasn't "interested" - and we made our excuses and sidled away towards the bar.

After introducing ourselves to a few others, we got chatting to a couple, Jon* and Lisa*, that had also been downstairs in the restaurant and ended up hanging with them most of the evening. The attraction was fairly mutual. I confess that I did have A LOT to drink and there are a few gaps in my memory. Suffice to say, I still have a clear image in my head of going down on Lisa in a "romantically lit" toilet cubicle some hours into the night.

Things got pretty heavy as the night wore on. At one point, there were numerous couples engaging in oral sex which pretty soon progressed to full unashamedly loud sex (doggy-style seemed to be rather popular). Being the voyeur that I am, I contented myself with watching till it got too much (or rather, till I got too horny). We'd already agreed to go back to Jon and Lisa's hotel room, so we got our coats, ran off and grabbed the first taxi available.

What was the sex like? Brilliant!!! Lots (and lots and lots) of rough sex (I did say I liked it!), oral and anal play, toys included. At one point, I was sucking off Jon with Lisa's face buried in my pussy whilst Daniel fucked her from behind. Hours later, we were completely spent (and, dare I say it, contentedly sore). I'm not one for staying the night, so Daniel and I eventually ordered a taxi home.

I have to say, I'm still tingling remembering it all. Jon and Lisa did extend an invitation to a swingers party they're having in the middle of May. Unfortunately, we can't go as we've got family coming to stay over. I also have no idea when the next "proper" Fever party is but all I can say is, providing we're free, we'll be the first to sign up!!

*all names have been changed to protect the guilty

Wednesday 25 April 2007

My prize pick of the day .... 25/04/07

Lovely Farting Women & Girls.......Cum To Me Sweethearts.......... - m4w - 27
Date: 2007-04-25, 8:48PM BST

I am an Italian, good looking, clean & safe. Sex is my hobby & I have a big one. I can accomodate [sic]. The only thing that turns me on - is farting girls & women......well when I am hopping in between her thighs she must fart loudly from her big round juicy ass.....does not matter if it smells bad - i dont [sic] mind at all......i love to suck cunts, fill them with cum & make them blow out the cum using cumfart techniques.......I make a woman cum 7 - 8 times when i take her to bed......& lastly when I am pounding her ass & doing anal she must fart so hard that her assholes must throw out my cock from her ass.....we all fart so why not become a little dirty.......especially white girls are very juicy, beautiful & dirty so maybe all you big bum beauties can cum to me & obliege [sic] me by having lovely discreet fuckfart [sic?] evening events.......remember to eat lots of beef & drink gallons of hot creamy choclate [sic] milk so that it helps you give big blows of fart when we both are banging inside the couch....dont [sic] you love to hear huge farting sounds coming from the ass which are accompanied by the wet blaping [sic] slippery sounds when the cock is banging your vagina ... women of any age & color can apply (so long as you have a lovely dripping & farting apple bottom bubble ass) but please send me a photo - no pics no reply - i'll wait for your replies..i'll take you for a heavy pork dinner so you can fart like a pig in the bed & from there we go to my place & start blaping & farting till our neighbours commit sucide [sic].....KISSES......

PS - What did I say about the weird things we Londoners get our kicks from ........ Welcome to a whole new level!

Again, rather ironic ...

Just got home a few minutes ago and saw I got my first ever comment from "Anonymous". The exact words were, "God this is so phoney!"

I'd chuckle if it weren't so ironic. So many men (that is, assuming "Anonymous" is a man) spend their whole time looking for that elusive female who enjoys casual guilt-free sex with men and has no problems displaying lesbian tendencies [so long as it's in front of them!]. The thing is, these women do exist. The problem is the single ones are few and far between, and way too discerning to waste their time with your average salivating neanderthal.

Ah well, negative attention is better than no attention. I mean, I'm putting all this on a blog! I'm obviously a frantic attention-seeking schizophrenic who's actually resident in a high-security psychiatric hospital ... ok, scratch the high-security psychiatric hospital bit, unless you count London as one. I mean, with all the weird things we Londoners get our kicks from, such a presumption wouldn't be too far off the truth. x

Tuesday 24 April 2007

My prize pick of the day .... 24/04/07

Man stink - m4m - 38
Date: 2007-04-24, 4:21PM BST

Im [sic] looking for a dirty unwashed bloke. I love the stink of men pits feet dirtynob [sic] and hole, want to give you atongue [sic] bath .

Ideally some one dominant and apprecitate [sic] some one enjoying their smell.

builder copper scaoffolder [sic]

Keep on swinging!

I know I've been away for a while. It's been rather hectic at work and the "bosses" are giving me hell. To be honest, even my colleagues have been less than lovely lately. Everyone's stressed and tired out. Even the sunshine's done little to alleviate the dark cloud in the office. Ah well, it can only go up from here (fingers crossed!)

I haven't met anyone on CL for a while. The partner and I decided to get our "swing" on and had a great meet with a couple last weekend we met on AdultFriendFinder. We also got to try our local pub for the very first time [which has recently gone all "gastro" on us]. It's lovely and has got a huge beer patio out back. I should probably mention the cute barman with the blue eyes and a rather painful looking tattoo extending all the way down his left arm. I normally don't go for tattoos but I might make an exception in this case ...

Back to the couple, S* and D*. We had a chilled out drink in the pub before making our way to a hotel. You'll all be pleased to know that I got my very first compliment from S* at how good I am at ... ahem ... "lady love". Although I've had sex with a fair few women (both with the partner and solo), I have to confess I'm more straight than bi. Apparently, there's a word for this - "heteroflexible" [they seem to have words for everything these days ! ] The other half simply says it's because I "love dick too much". I must have a word with him about that unacceptable language ...

D* was ok. He looked a lot better in person than he did in their pictures online and had a great smile. The only issue I had was he came way too quickly. Seriously! Two licks and a suck, and it was all over - in my mouth, I should add. Thank god he didn't taste funky (to be fair, his is probably one of the nicest I've tasted and that's saying a lot! There are some really "funky-tasting" guys out there!). Maybe I should just take that as another compliment at just how good I am at "man love" - or "sucking dick", as the other half would say.

I keep learning so much from our swinging experiences but the best lesson I've learned (and keep learning) is that I'm a lucky girl - my partner definitely isn't lacking in the size department! And, despite what some women tell you, size DOES matter! Especially when you're into rough hard sex like I am :)

Well, that's it on the swinging for now. We're meant to be going to a Fever Open House later this week, and I just might let you know how that goes ....

*all names have been changed to protect the guilty

Thursday 29 March 2007

Paul* - October 2005 (Part Deux ... or is it?)

I got an email from Paul* last week. Considering I haven't seen, spoken to or emailed him since the last time we met up [close on two years ago], it was a bit of a surprise. Actually, it wasn't - you'd be amazed how persistent men can be, even if it is sporadic. (An example - I had great sessions of phone and cam sex with a guy in Sweden I met on IRC in early 2004. He still emails me to this very day, even though I haven't spoken to him since April 2004. For all he knows, I could be dead, but he STILL keeps trying! Admirable, sad, or just plain stalker-crazy - you decide.)

Anyway, I know I said I wouldn't meet up with him again, but temptation keeps rearing its ugly head - that, or just boredom with a splash of curiosity - but I must remember to keep my recent vow regarding attached men. Somehow, I think I'll be maintaining the status quo ...

*all names have been changed to protect the guilty

Monday 19 March 2007

Craig* - March 2007

As I mentioned in my previous post, I met up with Craig* after he responded to my most recent post on CL. He was one of those kind enough to send a picture with his initial email. Lovely smile, albeit slightly cheesy (which he himself readily acknowledged).

We met up at Pagliacci on Kingsway [near Holborn]. As you can imagine, mistakes are easily made when meeting up with someone whom you've never seen before. And, no matter what some men say, pictures can (and do!) lie on a regular basis! Well, Craig's picture told the God honest truth (to be quite fair, his picture didn't do him justice). Not terribly tall, but a very cute face and the smile looked more pleasing and less cheesy in person. And he was all of 25! [My Daddy issues are dissipating!] Mid-conversation, I was wondering just how soon we would end up in bed together when - horror of horrors - he admitted he had a girlfriend! Yes, yes, I can hear you all screaming, "well, that's never bothered you before!", but hey, people change! Think of it as one of my numerous New Year resolutions .... [one of which I ended up breaking on the stroke of midnight at a swingers' club in Paris ... :)]

So no, I didn't take things further, though Lord knows I wanted to. We were in the bar for all of three hours, but it didn't feel like it, we got on that well. Amongst other things, we swapped horror stories (sexual and non-sexual) and I got a peek at his girlfriend's picture, a drop dead gorgeous Scandinavian who was apparently away on holiday in Asia for a month. You know, sometimes I just can't understand why men who end up with stunners jeopardize that with sordid thrills. It makes absolutely no sense to me [but then again, I'm not a man.]

Craig*, if you're reading this - my offer still stands. Call me if and when you end up single or, failing that, if you AND your girlfriend would like to play [What can I say? I'm greedy!]

Result: no sex (not even a kiss, I was being that pious!)
Contact: further contact a definite (and much desired!!) possibility ....

*all names have been changed to protect the guilty

My prize pick of the day .... 19/03/07

An Invitation - m4w - 28
Date: 2007-03-19, 12:41PM GMT

Hi,

I'd like to spank your bottom, I'd like [to] make you laugh.
I'd like to sign your gorgeous breasts with my gorgeous autograph.
I'd like to turn you over, I'd like to fondle you and feel
I'd like to hear your oragasm [sic], as long as it is real.

If you're in a kimono, and I am in my clothes,
I'd open it and kiss your breasts and fiddle with your nose.
I'd take you out for dinner, I'd take you out for drinks,
I'd be thninking [sic] dreadful thoughts about you, you dirty little minx.

If you could just stand naked, I would watch on bare,
I'd examine your bits and bobs intently, and stroke your luscious hair.
I'd kiss you on the mouth, and screw you in your toot,
I'd happily change my aftershave if you really didn't like Brut.

I have had enough.

I am an international man of mystery, and I think you are an adventurous person who would like to meet me in a public place, and then spend the days and nights rolling around in bed.

You should be female, nervous, and keen to get out of the cold and let me into your pants. I expect you toput [sic] up a bit of resistance as you are a lady, as I am a gent, eg: 'Oh no I couldn't possibly - tee hee'.

You should be wise and funny, and probably quite mad, as otherwise you wouldn't be playing on here anyway.

SEND A PHOTO!!!

Yours sincerely,

XXXX

PS - A headless pic of the so-called "International Man of Mystery" was attached. Let's just say a grubby black t-shirt and faded jeans (and a half-rate digital camera) don't cut it.

Ironic, isn't it? - March 2007

I placed a post on CL earlier this month which ended up being flagged for some reason or the other. It's rather stupid that women's posts get flagged up simply because they are posted by women - most men on CL seem to be so disillusioned that they simply can't entertain the possibility of a real non-escorting female posting on there. Ah well, their loss. Just in case you were wondering what the post was:

Ironic, isn't it? - w4m

The men who post on here looking for fun that then go running when they get an actual response from a real attractive female who proves who she says she is on cam, isn't looking for a millionaire or to get paid for doing God knows what. Apparently, I came across as so normal that something just had to be amiss.

Well, there isn't. I'm young, happy in my current situation and like safe casual sex as much as the next person. Yes, like every other female that posts on here, I'm picky. They go for a man with a big wallet assuming that he'll have a brain to match. I neither want nor need your cash. All I ask is that you're attractive with a brain, coupled with an ability to speak proper English and spell. Not asking much, am I? Though with the state/comprehensive education system in this country, I just might be ...

If you're interested, feel free to send an email with or without a pic. Just don't keep your hopes up if you go with the latter. And please, please, please, I really can't stand "dick" pics. If I wanted to collect those, all I'd have to do is type in the word "dick" on Google image search.


I did get a huge number of emails before it was flagged and met up with Craig*, one of those who responded. More on that later this week ....

PS - You'd be amazed how many guys actually entered the word "dick" on Google. In case you were wondering, it mostly brings up pictures of Dick Cheney. An in-joke, but a few guys didn't get it and kept emailing to tell me I was wrong. Get a sense of humour, people!!! (or, failing that, a life!) :D

*all names have been changed to protect the guilty

Saturday 17 March 2007

My prize pick of the day .... 17/03/07

Foot fetish? Want to jerk off into a hot woman's shoe? ... - m4m - 32
Date: 2007-03-17, 11:23AM GMT

yes it sounds a little kinky but if you've clicked here, you're a little turned on by the idea!
Women's legs n feet turn oyu [sic] on? I get it. I've got a pair of suede heels left behind by an old flatmate. Fancy getting a little kinky with that soft leather on the inside?

If you've a wife or girlfriend,fancy nickign [sic] one of theirs and bringing along?!

Get in touch - home, horny and bored today - can you tell?

str8 32 m, camden

Friday 16 March 2007

My prize pick of the day .... 16/03/07

ARE YOU DARING? - m4w - 42
Date: 2007-03-16, 2:43PM GMT

I'm a good-looking, 42 year old, fun-loving guy desperately seeking a date for tonight for the disco. I'm looking for someone 35-45 who is daring and also loves fun and has no inhibitions 'cos the catch is that tonight is the world-famous Starkers nude disco. You can keep your bikini bottom on (although I hope you're braver than that!) but I promise to reveal all!
Let's have a fun night.

Thursday 15 March 2007

Cary* - October 2005

Yet another response to my CL post. Cary* was a divorced ex-partner of a City firm who had decided to branch out into other things. I still can't be entirely sure how old he is - suffice to say, he has two fully grown up children. We hit it off on email, and have been chatting ever since, though we are yet to meet. Why? I have no idea! Something always seems to come up, and I'm a tad concerned that he's a bit too old for me.

He's really entertaining though, and a bit of an unashamed promiscuous male slut - oops, sorry, "playboy", "Casanova" etc who has a penchant for younger females, it would seem. We've cultivated a rather strange repertoire where we can spend ages discussing nothing over Skype. He's given me advice on work and has even been known, on occasion, to proof read job applications I've submitted. As I said before, I have major Daddy issues!

Am I being a tease by not meeting up with him? Perhaps, but even I doubt he'd want to meet up after all this time. Build one's hopes up, and one is bound to get disappointed. Although, never say never .....

Result: no sex
Contact: no physical contact as of yet ....

*all names have been changed to protect the guilty

My prize pick of the day .... 15/03/07

Piss Drinking Oral Slave seeks Young Pussy to worship - m4w - 44
Date: 2007-03-15, 6:28AM GMT

Piss Drinking Oral Slave seeks young pussy
If you would like your young pussy or ass licked clean and worshipped by this sophisticated older man I would love to hear from you . Holes dripping with other men’s cum and women during their periods welcome . Come on sit on my face .
Daytimes preferred .

Paul* - October 2005

Paul* was a blondey-grey commuting "City boy" in his 40s, married with two little boys and a stay-at-home wife. Not terribly attractive, but he did have this filthy look in his eyes that I liked, kind of like the actor William Fichtner (or maybe I was just projecting!). Again, he responded to an ad I had placed and we met up for a drink at a bar on Fleet Street. This was a bit of a question-answer session along the lines of "When did you lose your virginity?", "What's the filthiest thing you've ever done?", "Have you ever been paid for sex?" etc. Just in case you were wondering, the answers to the above were "12", "a gang-bang with five guys", and "yes**".

[** I slept with a friend of my dad's who, on leaving the hotel we'd booked, placed a considerable amount money on the bedside table. I think it was hush money, though, Lord knows, he didn't have to. My father would have killed him, and then come after me! I obviously have some serious Daddy issues! lol]

Back to Paul. We decided not to take things any further and hopped in a cab to London Bridge. Black cab drivers must get the best shows on earth. There must always be people "getting to know each other better" in the back! I did get a tad put off by something Paul said, and figured I wasn't about to become some other token (?) girl, so sex at any time in the present or future was DEFINITELY out! Despite that, I still got to check out the "merchandise" in a hidden corner near London Bridge station. Let's just say, I've seen better (I'm terribly mean!). And no, I didn't suck him off, but I did get to watch him jack off (poor thing hit a spot on his lovely Italian suit! lol). I can be such a dirty little voyeur ... :D

Result: no sex
Contact: no further contact


*all names have been changed to protect the guilty

Aman* - October 2005

Aman* responded to a post I put up on CL in 2005. He was an Indian-born Oxbrige-educated lawyer in his 30s. I realise that makes him sound rather pompous, but he was far from it. Disturbingly, he reminded me of my father (in personality only! hehe), though, I hasten to add, that isn't necessarily a terrible thing (love you, Daddy!). We met up for a drink in a bar just off Regent Street, and hit it off. I have to say, he wasn't the best kisser, but his tongue got put to better uses later :) I still don't understand how someone who isn't a great kisser can be amazing at giving oral ....

Aaaanyway, amusingly, we spent the better part of the afternoon in a black cab looking for a suitable hotel in West London (thankfully, we're both hotel snobs!), during which we got to "know each other better". He even offered to take me shopping! [See girls - sometimes you receive when you don't ask!] Unfortunately, I didn't take him up on the offer (and my imaginary Chloe Paddington bag slipped further and further away from my grasp *sob*..............). I guess it was a combination of pride, and guilt - he was married with a heavily-pregnant wife who, as I understood, had kind of gone off sex. Pity - he wasn't bad at all (although I personally would have preferred a" longer" session ....)

I never did see him again after that. He sent me an email a couple of months later asking to meet up, TWO WEEKS after his wife had finally dropped the sprog. That proved a bit too much for me. I mean, at least give it a few months! That's a time when you should be expending all your energy on your new kid and your poor wife. Ah well, I suppose I'm not one to judge ....

Result: sex
Contact: no further contact


*all names have been changed to protect the guilty

Wednesday 14 March 2007

Does it really work?

That's the question most people seem to have on their minds when they visit the Casual Encounters section of the London page for Craigslist. In answer to the question - yes, it does, but for the fair and lucky few.

I'll make it simple. You get certain calibres of posters, some of which I have included below:
1. Straight men looking for straight women
2. Gay men looking for gay men
3. Straight men looking for gay men
4. Straight men looking for straight men

[(3) and (4) are obviously either very confused or in complete denial! - and usually married!]

5. Men who pose as females looking for men
6. Photo/Pic collectors ie men who simply like to build up their stash of amateur porn
7. The erotic "literatti" ie men who [foolishly!] fancy themselves as erotica connoisseurs, and love to regale us with tales of wanton sex and female moistness [you get the idea ...]
8. The serial posters ie men that put up the exact same post(s) every single day
9. Escorts (both male and female) touting for business
10. Couples looking for men to fuck the wife/wives
11. Couples looking for that special single bi woman [my advice - much easier to find a couple with a bi woman!]

... and last, but not least ...

12. Real females looking for casual sex ["sugar daddy" and/or monetary payment neither desired nor expected]

As you might imagine, those who fit into category (12) are few and far between, but yes, we do exist. Or perhaps, I should say, "I exist!". More often than not, the posts most men put on there looking for "us" are either scary, off-putting, or downright hilarious. Case in point:

am like the energizer bunny ... - m4w - 26
Date: 2007-03-14, 8:17PM GMT
i keep going and going and going.
am looking for ladies who are after a young good looking guy who can give them what they want. so if you’re interested pop me a mail and let’s sort something out.
cheers
m
(accompanied by the obligatory "dick pic")

Seriously?!

So what are we - sorry - what am I looking for? Someone that comes across as normal. What's that? You'll see soon enough ...