Gumtree!!!

In recognition of the fact that there are just as many crazy people on there (if not more!) than they have on Craigslist London, Gumtree has been added to the honor role on "My Sites of Interest". For those in the dark, please look to the right.

To welcome Gumtree to the fold, I have a special Gumtree Prize Pick of the Day:

Calling human females Age 55
Date: Thursday 2 August

Calling Human Females

I will be visiting your delightful planet in the near future and have been instructed To take up residence in a city called “London” the location will be in the NW of that city in an area called Kilburn.

As a visitor to your delightful planet I have been tasked with finding out more about your methods of reproduction, to that end I am seeking volunteers who would like the opportunity to help interplanetary relations expand in hitherto unexplored directions.

The subject (me) has assumed the appearance of a human male of approx 55 years of age (but surprisingly we have ascertained that he actually looks younger).

He is (in local measurements) 6 feet 3 inches tall and weighs around 13 stone, and is “ahem” built in proportion. Whatever THAT means.

He has eyes of blue (very strange you Earth people. BLUE eyes?) Short brown hair with I’m told a neat beard.

Fortunately for you the very attractive 3rd and 4th eyes have been concealed, as has been the beautiful bright blue and green skin of my people, I have also been told that the majority of your females would not appreciate the natural color of our eyes. Or the tentacles that grow from the back of our skull, so they have of course been concealed (which is VERY uncomfortable for me)

I have been allocated my own accommodation so privacy can be maintained to protect your identity .

Should you wish to be one of the lucky (?) females please observe the following conditions

1.You should be at least 5feet 6 inches tall and in proportion, by which we mean your weight should be in proportion to your height (we have been asked to find healthy specimens only. …Sorry)

2.In age you should be between 30 years of age and no more than that of the apparent age of the subject (me), which is 55 years of age.

3.Eye and hair color is not of great importance, what IS more important is that you possess both.

4.A sense of humor would also be appreciated.

Since this posting to your planet is likely to be a long one I would appreciate a longer term relationship, which would give me much greater opportunity for study.

Looking forward to teaching you all the wonderful things we get up to on my planet, Karma Sutra………. huh……….for beginners!

In anticipation, I am ……Kzztip

(There was a pic at the end so, for those who are interested, feel free to click the titled link! Please also get in touch so I can give you the number of my psychiatrist ...)