It's all rather unfair

I've come to realise that I am very unfortunate in my choice of location - where I live, that is. I mean, it's great that Daniel and I are on the housing ladder; we can be smug, self-assured and protected, all by four simpe walls (and a 30% rise in our property's value since we bought it). What is unfair is that, having lived here now for three years to the day, I've come to realise that there are NO cute guys within a 20 mile vicinity of where I live.

South London has always had, and continues to have, a disparaging reputation. It's the land of chavs, council blocks and mugger-ridden tube stations that are few and far between. It is on the up though - going past Clapham, it's amazing how much the area has changed. Even bloody Brockley, a former wasteland, is on the up. So why oh why does my particular borough have to be so desolate and depressing? I started going to the local gym last year (for non-sex related reasons) but I am yet to find any male specimen who could be considered vaguely attractive. My fellow gym-goers can be divided into very distinct groups.

1. The fatties: huffing and puffing away on the elliptical trainers, barely breaking past the optimum cardio heartrate of a 70 year old
2. The musclies: invariably muscular, invariably short and facially challenged
3. The avies: skinny geeks on the bike mentally drooling over the latest pimp-and-ho MTV music video
4. The oldies: self-explanatory, really.

I even did a search on AdultFriendFinder to see what I came up with. The most attractive option I came across was a couple with a BNBW (Big [Not Beautiful!] Woman) and her cross-dressing balding husband. Yum(!)

So what am I to do? Keep shelling out for 1 hour taxi rides and late-night trains? Depressing, but looks like that's not going to change anytime soon. So, if any of you happen to know a cute single kinky under-35 male that lives in a South East London postcode, do let me know.