... between myself and crockery ...
(Just in case you were wondering - the crockery lost!)
Wednesday 29 August 2007
Tuesday 28 August 2007
Isn't family a b*tch?!
I've always been known as the weird one in my family. The one with the violent mood swings, the quick temper, the tendency to beat (and bite!) the crap out of anyone who pissed me off. Add to that my lack of Catholic morals and you've pretty much got a bad 'un right there.
However, for someone labelled the black sheep, I'm a fucking paragon of responsibility. I've fought tooth and nail to get to where I am without their help and come up smelling of roses. And despite me wanting to hate them as much as I should, I find myself caring more than I ought to. But no more. The past week has been about making changes, so here are a few steady and true facts to set me on my merry way post-Bank Holiday Monday:
1. I am a bitch. I always have been and always will be. These intermittent slip-ups where I actually give a fuck about certain people are just blips on my bitch record.
2. I am only going to care about people who care about me. And no, not people who say that they do, but those who show it on a regular basis. Words are like arseholes - everyone's got them and, more often than not, they're full of shit!
3. I refuse to make decisions for people any more. Sure, I might point them in the direction of the rising tide, but whether they sink or swim is up to them.
4. Fear and respect can (and should) sometimes mean one and the same thing.
5. Revenge can be extremely satisfying. So can active, heartless and resolute sabotage!
6. Did I mention that I was a bitch?
Now all I have to do is repeat these statements of wisdom when I find myself slipping up and I should be just fine.
P.S. - To those that say that girls mature faster than boys, that's just an excuse made up by paedophiles and idiotic bastards in the middle of a mid-life crisis. At 16, if you're old enough to fuck (which, in the UK, you are), then you're old enough to stop other people fucking you over.
However, for someone labelled the black sheep, I'm a fucking paragon of responsibility. I've fought tooth and nail to get to where I am without their help and come up smelling of roses. And despite me wanting to hate them as much as I should, I find myself caring more than I ought to. But no more. The past week has been about making changes, so here are a few steady and true facts to set me on my merry way post-Bank Holiday Monday:
1. I am a bitch. I always have been and always will be. These intermittent slip-ups where I actually give a fuck about certain people are just blips on my bitch record.
2. I am only going to care about people who care about me. And no, not people who say that they do, but those who show it on a regular basis. Words are like arseholes - everyone's got them and, more often than not, they're full of shit!
3. I refuse to make decisions for people any more. Sure, I might point them in the direction of the rising tide, but whether they sink or swim is up to them.
4. Fear and respect can (and should) sometimes mean one and the same thing.
5. Revenge can be extremely satisfying. So can active, heartless and resolute sabotage!
6. Did I mention that I was a bitch?
Now all I have to do is repeat these statements of wisdom when I find myself slipping up and I should be just fine.
P.S. - To those that say that girls mature faster than boys, that's just an excuse made up by paedophiles and idiotic bastards in the middle of a mid-life crisis. At 16, if you're old enough to fuck (which, in the UK, you are), then you're old enough to stop other people fucking you over.
My Prize Pick of the Day ... 28/08/07
My wife is asleep. Want to cum on her? - mw4mm - 32
Date: 2007-08-28, 2:01AM BST
We're an American couple here on vacation. We decided to go out for some dinner and drinks and my wife has become completely hammered and is passed out on our hotel bed. I would love to see a guy come over and masturbate over her if you can be quiet. Think you're up for this?
[Once again, let us rejoice in the consistency that is Craigslist-London!]
Date: 2007-08-28, 2:01AM BST
We're an American couple here on vacation. We decided to go out for some dinner and drinks and my wife has become completely hammered and is passed out on our hotel bed. I would love to see a guy come over and masturbate over her if you can be quiet. Think you're up for this?
[Once again, let us rejoice in the consistency that is Craigslist-London!]
Saturday 25 August 2007
Absinthe-ing in Clapham
Finally decided to get off my lazy butt and get out of the house for a bit. Went to a pal's house party in Clapham where we proceeded to do see just how much absinthe we could handle. You'll be pleased to know that I came second. You won't be pleased to know that I now have a raging hangover (feels like a meat cleaver continuously slicing into my brain matter!).
As is usually the case, where there's alcohol, there's sex. Sex this time came in the form of the absinthe winner Joshua* - lovely guy I've met on a few occasions, but I just never bit the bullet. Well, this time, I bit the bullet and much more! Felt rather wrong though - he's just so sweet and unassuming, and I initially felt like I was taking advantage of him being drunk et al. Fat chance of that! He's a dirty little f*cker (pardon my French!)! There are some people that say, show me how a person has sex and I'll tell you who they are (ok, fine, not some people - me!!). Joshua's carnal behaviour last night DOES NOT translate into the reality of what you see in real time, which just makes it all the more shocking. No, I am not going into salacious details as my head is still reeling (and no, that's not just the alcohol!) . Let's just say certain objects and actions were involved that would make Ron Jeremy blush and convert to Buddhism ...
Embarrassed I might be, but God, I'm SO glad I abolished the one-time rule!!!!
PS - I know my "Prize Picks of the Day" have been a little thin on the ground. Craigslist has been unusually quiet ... (but we all know that will change!)
As is usually the case, where there's alcohol, there's sex. Sex this time came in the form of the absinthe winner Joshua* - lovely guy I've met on a few occasions, but I just never bit the bullet. Well, this time, I bit the bullet and much more! Felt rather wrong though - he's just so sweet and unassuming, and I initially felt like I was taking advantage of him being drunk et al. Fat chance of that! He's a dirty little f*cker (pardon my French!)! There are some people that say, show me how a person has sex and I'll tell you who they are (ok, fine, not some people - me!!). Joshua's carnal behaviour last night DOES NOT translate into the reality of what you see in real time, which just makes it all the more shocking. No, I am not going into salacious details as my head is still reeling (and no, that's not just the alcohol!) . Let's just say certain objects and actions were involved that would make Ron Jeremy blush and convert to Buddhism ...
Embarrassed I might be, but God, I'm SO glad I abolished the one-time rule!!!!
PS - I know my "Prize Picks of the Day" have been a little thin on the ground. Craigslist has been unusually quiet ... (but we all know that will change!)
Monday 20 August 2007
What a difference a day makes ...
From being blissfully happy to being in a downright rotten mood. In fact, I'm wallowing in a pool of self pity. Don't worry, it'll pass - no doubt helped along by the fact that, after a long hiatus, I've finally managed to score a replacement pot dealer. This time, I won't make the mistake I made with my former one - shagging your drug dealer is NEVER a good idea!!! Letting him move halfway across the world without at least getting you a replacement - even worse!
In fact, I'm turning a lot of things in my life around -
1. The one-time rule has been officially abolished - it was too hard to keep to it.
2. Recreational drugs are back on the menu - see above.
3. I'm now shagging couples sans Daniel. So many females to turn, so little time ...
4. I'm listening to music again - cheesy pop, soppy ballads, old time classics, grunge, jazz, Simon and Garfunkel, Rufus Wainwright's "Hallelujah", Meditation from Thais the opera (you name it, I've got it on my iTunes player - even embarrassing Disney songs from my childhood!)
5. I finally finished Dostoevsky's Crime and Punishment - I kept putting the Epilogue off as it made me too upset (yes, I'm a weirdo who gets ridiculously attached to novels!)
6. I'm learning to accept my scars of previous years - insane rage and self-harming will fuck you up, but so will denial.
Of course, all of this might change in an instant. But for now, I'm going to enjoy it all for as long as I can.
Suddenly, I feel better :-)
In fact, I'm turning a lot of things in my life around -
1. The one-time rule has been officially abolished - it was too hard to keep to it.
2. Recreational drugs are back on the menu - see above.
3. I'm now shagging couples sans Daniel. So many females to turn, so little time ...
4. I'm listening to music again - cheesy pop, soppy ballads, old time classics, grunge, jazz, Simon and Garfunkel, Rufus Wainwright's "Hallelujah", Meditation from Thais the opera (you name it, I've got it on my iTunes player - even embarrassing Disney songs from my childhood!)
5. I finally finished Dostoevsky's Crime and Punishment - I kept putting the Epilogue off as it made me too upset (yes, I'm a weirdo who gets ridiculously attached to novels!)
6. I'm learning to accept my scars of previous years - insane rage and self-harming will fuck you up, but so will denial.
Of course, all of this might change in an instant. But for now, I'm going to enjoy it all for as long as I can.
Suddenly, I feel better :-)
Sunday 19 August 2007
My Prize Pick of the Day ... 19/08/07
Tart With A Heart? - m4w - 60 (Have car can travel)
Date: 2007-08-19, 10:08PM BST
I'm a 60 year old man with impotence caused by a combination of illness (nothing life threatening nor contagious) and old age.
However, I have an insatiable libido and I'm looking for some mutual oral enjoyment. Although I am unable to fuck you senseless, I have honed my oral skills to almost an art form and can lick you to the point of orgasm and beyond.
Perhaps you would like to reciprocate and endeavour to blow some life into my flacid, wrinkled pathetic little cock?
I'm sure that with the right partner, a little patience and some tlc, we can get this thing licked.
I cannot accommodate but can travel.
[He really knows how to make it sound so appealing ... Poor thing ...]
Date: 2007-08-19, 10:08PM BST
I'm a 60 year old man with impotence caused by a combination of illness (nothing life threatening nor contagious) and old age.
However, I have an insatiable libido and I'm looking for some mutual oral enjoyment. Although I am unable to fuck you senseless, I have honed my oral skills to almost an art form and can lick you to the point of orgasm and beyond.
Perhaps you would like to reciprocate and endeavour to blow some life into my flacid, wrinkled pathetic little cock?
I'm sure that with the right partner, a little patience and some tlc, we can get this thing licked.
I cannot accommodate but can travel.
[He really knows how to make it sound so appealing ... Poor thing ...]
Sometimes
I sometimes don't realise just how lucky I am. The anniversary came and went - Daniel and I went for a lovely meal at Saran Rom, came back home and settled on the sofa to watch "Starter for 10" (very funny and moving movie). Whilst we were watching it, I kept thinking how I missed out on a lot of things back in those days - living in my university's halls of residence, the crazy parties that went on, the friendships that were forged (and broken) and just revelling in the sheer joy of crazily immature youth.
Then I gave myself a mental slap across the face.
I'm lucky enough to have gone to university and come out with some really great grades. Sure, I didn't go to as many parties as I wanted but I went to enough to know that, after a while, puking up in the guttering nearby moaning about the lack of a meaningful other is totally overrated. Whilst they were sleeping with random people and returned back to reality pricking their consciences about what they'd done/who they'd cheated on, I was sleeping with random people and getting to go back home to Daniel, without the obligatory guilt trips. Whilst some of them are undertaking Masters degrees to shy away from having to face real life as fully fledged adults, I've just landed myself another great job that pays (dare I say it) ridiculously well. My future isn't riddled with uncertainty and unanswerable questions. In my twenties, I have a great job, a great man (who lets me get away with murder!) and more-than-affordable mortgages on home and overseas properties, the values of which are increasing so well that I need do nothing but sit on my arse and watch the money roll in. I can do everything my contemporaries do and have a hell of a lot that they don't.
I sometimes don't realise just how lucky I am. Then again, sometimes, I do.
(Happy Anniversary, Daniel!)
Then I gave myself a mental slap across the face.
I'm lucky enough to have gone to university and come out with some really great grades. Sure, I didn't go to as many parties as I wanted but I went to enough to know that, after a while, puking up in the guttering nearby moaning about the lack of a meaningful other is totally overrated. Whilst they were sleeping with random people and returned back to reality pricking their consciences about what they'd done/who they'd cheated on, I was sleeping with random people and getting to go back home to Daniel, without the obligatory guilt trips. Whilst some of them are undertaking Masters degrees to shy away from having to face real life as fully fledged adults, I've just landed myself another great job that pays (dare I say it) ridiculously well. My future isn't riddled with uncertainty and unanswerable questions. In my twenties, I have a great job, a great man (who lets me get away with murder!) and more-than-affordable mortgages on home and overseas properties, the values of which are increasing so well that I need do nothing but sit on my arse and watch the money roll in. I can do everything my contemporaries do and have a hell of a lot that they don't.
I sometimes don't realise just how lucky I am. Then again, sometimes, I do.
(Happy Anniversary, Daniel!)
Thursday 16 August 2007
I need to get some fucking sleep!!
Went out for a party last night for a website called www.beautifulpeople.net. For those who aren't in the know, it's a dating site where you upload your face picture and the current members get to vote you in or out depending on how beautiful they think you are. Votes range from "Yes! Certainly!!" to "No! Not at all". I know, it sounds naff, doesn't it? lol. I joined up in April 2005 when it first started in the UK (of course I got voted in!!!) and had a blast of a summer with the crazy people I met on there. One memorable "party" involved taking a bouncy castle, ice-cream machine, lots of weed and even more alcohol to Hampstead Heath. We did get our fair share of disapproving tuts from the matriarchal elite who pass through there with their Third-World-looking starving chihuahuas. We all also ended up having sex (lots of sex!!) with each other - one-on-one, boy-girl, boy-boy, girl-girl, girl-girl-boy, girl-boy-girl, boy-girl-boy, boy-boy-girl-boy-girl-girl etc. If I'd drawn a map/chart, it would have looked like a spider's web woven whilst good old spidey was on crystal meth.
Annnyway - the party last night was held at Mahiki which, as everyone knows, is one of the "high end" clubs, frequented by celebrities, royalty and your stereotypical Euro-trash, that is no more than a glorified cattle market. I decided to go pretty last minute but got there in good time to bump into Tom* - one of my boy-girl-girl flings from the heady days of 2005. Tom's a very odd guy - no, seriously, extremely odd. He's got the strongest Scottish brogue I've ever heard so you can't understand a fucking word of what he's saying but then you kind of get lost looking at the physical "perfection" he embodies and, suddenly, verbal communication doesn't seem to be all that important any more. But no, this isn't about Tom - sure, we exchanged numbers again and mumbled vague suggestions about going to another party later that night together, but it pretty much ended there. You see, Tom, as beautiful as he is, has a certain problem referred to as "coke dick" - you know, when a guy's had so much fucking coke that his member can't do more than wilt sadly, no matter how hard you try to coax it into something a bit more, erm, "substantial". So no Tom action.
I did, however, start chatting to a guy I thought was Tom's friend who I later found out had only just met Tom at the bar earlier in the evening. Harry* - smart clued up air-force guy, 41, divorced, two kids, tall (very tall!) with yummy hazel eyes. When Tom et al decided to go on to a house party elsewhere, Harry and I decided to stick it out for a bit longer. We got chatting politics and one drink led to another ... To be fair, Harry was a perfect gentleman who walked me to Victoria to catch my train - AFTER he somehow managed to guide/lure me into his flat nearby with heavenly promises of food (actual food!) - pitta bread, humous, cherry tomatoes and fresh watercress (drooling even now). I never did get to finish the food - I somehow ended up naked in Harry's bed with him giving me an all over massage that felt bloody marvellous. Then followed six hours of really intense, really sweaty sex. His oral skills couldn't be faulted (tres enthusiastic) and I think I managed to lose count of how many fingers he had. It could have been ten, could have been fifty - all I know is that they were all over, everywhere. The only thing I could possibly fault is the taste of his cum (yes, I swallow - unless it really is nigh on impossible to do so without being sick!) - what is it with healthy guys on great diets who have the most bitter tasting stuff emanating from their dicks?! Very odd. But then again, that's one fault out of a series of faultless sessions of sex.
One interesting thing he said to me - when he first laid eyes on me in the club and spoke to me, he thought I was a butter-wouldn't-melt kinda girl. Why do all the men I end up shagging think this? Do I give off some kind of Virgin Mary vibe? I don't mind, not really - it's just that think of all the other cute guys (and girls!) I could have ended up shagging if only they realised that my posh-lady act was a front in the real world for a really debased, depraved, roving sexuality. I think I might have to get a tshirt that says, "Totally fuckable, and yes, "butter" would definitely melt and dribble down this posh girl's chin". Silly, but it might do the trick :)
I finally left Harry's at 7 a.m. this morning exhausted and happy. Which starts to beg the question- what am I doing up writing about this when I should be catching up on some well-deserved shut eye?! A perfectly reasonable question, the answer to which is that I've been masturbating pretty much non-stop since I got home. Yes, slutty and crazy - a great combination :)
PS - I never did get Harry's number. Or his last name. I can't even remember his address (that's how dazed and confused I was when I left!). Chances are I'm never going to see or speak to him ever again - a true and proper one night stand with a complete and total stranger. Probably for the best though - that'll be a great way of sticking to my "one-time" rule ...
Annnyway - the party last night was held at Mahiki which, as everyone knows, is one of the "high end" clubs, frequented by celebrities, royalty and your stereotypical Euro-trash, that is no more than a glorified cattle market. I decided to go pretty last minute but got there in good time to bump into Tom* - one of my boy-girl-girl flings from the heady days of 2005. Tom's a very odd guy - no, seriously, extremely odd. He's got the strongest Scottish brogue I've ever heard so you can't understand a fucking word of what he's saying but then you kind of get lost looking at the physical "perfection" he embodies and, suddenly, verbal communication doesn't seem to be all that important any more. But no, this isn't about Tom - sure, we exchanged numbers again and mumbled vague suggestions about going to another party later that night together, but it pretty much ended there. You see, Tom, as beautiful as he is, has a certain problem referred to as "coke dick" - you know, when a guy's had so much fucking coke that his member can't do more than wilt sadly, no matter how hard you try to coax it into something a bit more, erm, "substantial". So no Tom action.
I did, however, start chatting to a guy I thought was Tom's friend who I later found out had only just met Tom at the bar earlier in the evening. Harry* - smart clued up air-force guy, 41, divorced, two kids, tall (very tall!) with yummy hazel eyes. When Tom et al decided to go on to a house party elsewhere, Harry and I decided to stick it out for a bit longer. We got chatting politics and one drink led to another ... To be fair, Harry was a perfect gentleman who walked me to Victoria to catch my train - AFTER he somehow managed to guide/lure me into his flat nearby with heavenly promises of food (actual food!) - pitta bread, humous, cherry tomatoes and fresh watercress (drooling even now). I never did get to finish the food - I somehow ended up naked in Harry's bed with him giving me an all over massage that felt bloody marvellous. Then followed six hours of really intense, really sweaty sex. His oral skills couldn't be faulted (tres enthusiastic) and I think I managed to lose count of how many fingers he had. It could have been ten, could have been fifty - all I know is that they were all over, everywhere. The only thing I could possibly fault is the taste of his cum (yes, I swallow - unless it really is nigh on impossible to do so without being sick!) - what is it with healthy guys on great diets who have the most bitter tasting stuff emanating from their dicks?! Very odd. But then again, that's one fault out of a series of faultless sessions of sex.
One interesting thing he said to me - when he first laid eyes on me in the club and spoke to me, he thought I was a butter-wouldn't-melt kinda girl. Why do all the men I end up shagging think this? Do I give off some kind of Virgin Mary vibe? I don't mind, not really - it's just that think of all the other cute guys (and girls!) I could have ended up shagging if only they realised that my posh-lady act was a front in the real world for a really debased, depraved, roving sexuality. I think I might have to get a tshirt that says, "Totally fuckable, and yes, "butter" would definitely melt and dribble down this posh girl's chin". Silly, but it might do the trick :)
I finally left Harry's at 7 a.m. this morning exhausted and happy. Which starts to beg the question- what am I doing up writing about this when I should be catching up on some well-deserved shut eye?! A perfectly reasonable question, the answer to which is that I've been masturbating pretty much non-stop since I got home. Yes, slutty and crazy - a great combination :)
PS - I never did get Harry's number. Or his last name. I can't even remember his address (that's how dazed and confused I was when I left!). Chances are I'm never going to see or speak to him ever again - a true and proper one night stand with a complete and total stranger. Probably for the best though - that'll be a great way of sticking to my "one-time" rule ...
Monday 13 August 2007
My Prize Pick of the Day ... 13/08/07
Seeking Secks - m4m - 27
Date: 2007-08-13, 12:39PM BST
I'm str8 and engaged, but not sure why I love sucking cock so much *** .....
[*** Hmmm, could it be because you're actually - shock, horror - bi/gay???]
P.S. - Couldn't be arsed pasting the rest :-)
Date: 2007-08-13, 12:39PM BST
I'm str8 and engaged, but not sure why I love sucking cock so much *** .....
[*** Hmmm, could it be because you're actually - shock, horror - bi/gay???]
P.S. - Couldn't be arsed pasting the rest :-)
Saturday 11 August 2007
It's that time of the year again ...
Fever is having yet another Open House on the 7th of September, same time and same place as the last one. Yet again, I'm in two minds about going. Then again, Daniel will be around for this one. Then again, I don't want to get pawed by Jon whilst Lisa looks on fuming. Then again, I could just tell him to fuck off. Then again .....
Ah, fuck it. I'm not going!
Ah, fuck it. I'm not going!
Wednesday 8 August 2007
My Prize Pick of the Day ... 08/08/07 (It's a tie!!!)
Sexy lips... - w4m - 28
Date: 2007-08-08, 10:23AM BST
I would like to do lips enhancement and booked a visit on the 15th of August.
It is gonna cost me £370.
Who would like to make it happen? :)
I would like to meet one guy only! I am not into many so do not bother if you are not happy to offer your help in full.
It is gonna be a one off meeting at your place for a couple of hours to show you how grateful I can be :) I promise, you will never regret it..This includes sex, not a BJ only! I am very open minded in a bed deparrment and happy to explore other scenes too (3sums, swinger clubs, fetish, role plays, etc)
Me: young, tall, curvy, great tanned body, high maintenance and kinky blonde :)
I would like to know something about you before we meet and see your face picture, I do not go for blind dates. If you are younger than 27 please do not reply to this post.
This is a very genuine ad and I require genuine replies.
Offer ends on the 14th of August!
[I would like to get a personal trainer but it's going to cost me £400 a month. Who would like to make it happen? :-) Obviously, if you just so happen to be a hot personal trainer yourself, all the better! We can forego the £400 and, in exchange, I'd like a rock hard _______ ]
Date: 2007-08-08, 10:23AM BST
I would like to do lips enhancement and booked a visit on the 15th of August.
It is gonna cost me £370.
Who would like to make it happen? :)
I would like to meet one guy only! I am not into many so do not bother if you are not happy to offer your help in full.
It is gonna be a one off meeting at your place for a couple of hours to show you how grateful I can be :) I promise, you will never regret it..This includes sex, not a BJ only! I am very open minded in a bed deparrment and happy to explore other scenes too (3sums, swinger clubs, fetish, role plays, etc)
Me: young, tall, curvy, great tanned body, high maintenance and kinky blonde :)
I would like to know something about you before we meet and see your face picture, I do not go for blind dates. If you are younger than 27 please do not reply to this post.
This is a very genuine ad and I require genuine replies.
Offer ends on the 14th of August!
[I would like to get a personal trainer but it's going to cost me £400 a month. Who would like to make it happen? :-) Obviously, if you just so happen to be a hot personal trainer yourself, all the better! We can forego the £400 and, in exchange, I'd like a rock hard _______ ]
My Prize Pick of the Day ... 08/08/07
mature woman to cum in my mouth - m4w - 45
Date: 2007-08-08, 10:14AM BST
you must be STD free. I'll come along lick you off make you cum in my mouth and be gone. MUST be under size 16 Would help if you could pay my fares as am unemployed at moment* Extra points if married with kids more chance of being STD free...
[Erm, when did I miss the memo that we could now recoup travel costs from our casual encounters???]
* emphasis added by Ed
Date: 2007-08-08, 10:14AM BST
you must be STD free. I'll come along lick you off make you cum in my mouth and be gone. MUST be under size 16 Would help if you could pay my fares as am unemployed at moment* Extra points if married with kids more chance of being STD free...
[Erm, when did I miss the memo that we could now recoup travel costs from our casual encounters???]
* emphasis added by Ed
Gossip
I'm like every other red-blooded female out there - I love a good bit of gossip. Even malicious gossip has its place - just so long as it isn't directed at me. I have to admit I do waste a lot of time during the day looking at gossip blogs. Sad, but true. Then again, it's just like daydreaming - totally useless, but we all still do it once in a while.
Anyway, there are so many "celebrity" gossip blogs out there that there really is something for everyone. But my absolute fave has to be Dlisted.com. MK, the guy who writes it, is absolutely hilarious and has the tongue of a viper. I could learn a thing or two from him about really mean put-downs ... He's also, lest I fail to mention, an equal opportunity blogger. Everyone that knows me knows that I'm all for equality and diversity in all things. Unlike other "unmentioned" blogs where the blogger is fairly selective about who and what they write about (those who waste as much time on these things as I do will know who I'm talking about), with MK, what you see is what you get - evil, humorous wit in its truest form. So long live dlisted!
PS - If he just so happens to read this, damn you for getting me addicted!!!
PPS - Feel free to send a cheque in the post for such marvellous product placement!
Anyway, there are so many "celebrity" gossip blogs out there that there really is something for everyone. But my absolute fave has to be Dlisted.com. MK, the guy who writes it, is absolutely hilarious and has the tongue of a viper. I could learn a thing or two from him about really mean put-downs ... He's also, lest I fail to mention, an equal opportunity blogger. Everyone that knows me knows that I'm all for equality and diversity in all things. Unlike other "unmentioned" blogs where the blogger is fairly selective about who and what they write about (those who waste as much time on these things as I do will know who I'm talking about), with MK, what you see is what you get - evil, humorous wit in its truest form. So long live dlisted!
PS - If he just so happens to read this, damn you for getting me addicted!!!
PPS - Feel free to send a cheque in the post for such marvellous product placement!
Tuesday 7 August 2007
My Prize Pick of the Day ... 07/08/07
afternoon fun? - m4w - 43
Date: 2007-08-07, 10:16AM BST
looking for a young student or single mum to have some afternoon fun with today. Will bring my wallet and come to a happy comprimise [sic]. I am good looking,clean and discreet. Good body so come on ladies...we could have a great time. Hope to hear soon x
[Ok, why is this a "Prize Pick", I hear you ask? There's just something rather saddening and repulsive about these "Pyotr Petrovich Luzhin"s on Craigslist. For some strange reason, they seem to believe that they are "too good" for a regular escort and, instead, seek to prey on people who are most likely down on their luck and, as a result, rather vulnerable. Then again, who am I to judge what most people might claim is simply an exchange of required services ... *sigh*]
PS - I'm obviously in a miserable, overly-pious mood today. Don't worry. It will pass (probably a lot sooner than it should ...)
Date: 2007-08-07, 10:16AM BST
looking for a young student or single mum to have some afternoon fun with today. Will bring my wallet and come to a happy comprimise [sic]. I am good looking,clean and discreet. Good body so come on ladies...we could have a great time. Hope to hear soon x
[Ok, why is this a "Prize Pick", I hear you ask? There's just something rather saddening and repulsive about these "Pyotr Petrovich Luzhin"s on Craigslist. For some strange reason, they seem to believe that they are "too good" for a regular escort and, instead, seek to prey on people who are most likely down on their luck and, as a result, rather vulnerable. Then again, who am I to judge what most people might claim is simply an exchange of required services ... *sigh*]
PS - I'm obviously in a miserable, overly-pious mood today. Don't worry. It will pass (probably a lot sooner than it should ...)
Monday 6 August 2007
My Prize Pick of the Day ... 06/08/07
cheesy nob - m4m
Date: 2007-08-06, 10:08AM BST
hi fellas any one with an unwashed cheesy helmet, love the smell taste and being forced to clean it slowly...builder copper geeza wnated [sic]
Date: 2007-08-06, 10:08AM BST
hi fellas any one with an unwashed cheesy helmet, love the smell taste and being forced to clean it slowly...builder copper geeza wnated [sic]
Saturday 4 August 2007
Suitable anniversary activity
Daniel and I have our anniversary coming up, and we're not entirely sure what to do. We've been together for quite a while now and it would be nice to do something special, perhaps even something different. At the moment, I'm torn between a hum-drum meal at a restaurant, or sorting out a special "party" (me, him and a few others).
Was talking to Mark the other day, and he mentioned he'd been to Spearmint Rhino recently. Don't worry, he thought it was shit too, but he also mentioned Stringfellows as well. That's one thing I'm yet to do (go to a female strip club) and who better to share the experience with than Daniel? I do wonder whether there's something rather tasteless about it, especially as an anniversary thing but, then again, how much more tasteful would a swingers party be?
Decisions, decisions, decisions ... if anyone has a better idea, do let me know.
Was talking to Mark the other day, and he mentioned he'd been to Spearmint Rhino recently. Don't worry, he thought it was shit too, but he also mentioned Stringfellows as well. That's one thing I'm yet to do (go to a female strip club) and who better to share the experience with than Daniel? I do wonder whether there's something rather tasteless about it, especially as an anniversary thing but, then again, how much more tasteful would a swingers party be?
Decisions, decisions, decisions ... if anyone has a better idea, do let me know.
My Prize Pick of the Day ... 04/08/07
I will pay to smell men's sweaty socks - 38
Date: 2007-08-04, 8:18AM BST
love to worship your sweaty socks and kiss your feet sir,thats all i want master, come and relax , have a beer, and put yor sweaty feet in my face as i worship you, please can i give you thirty quid to earn permission to kiss your soles. very genuine, goodlooking and submissive
[I knew Craigslist wouldn't keep disappointing me ... :-)]
Date: 2007-08-04, 8:18AM BST
love to worship your sweaty socks and kiss your feet sir,thats all i want master, come and relax , have a beer, and put yor sweaty feet in my face as i worship you, please can i give you thirty quid to earn permission to kiss your soles. very genuine, goodlooking and submissive
[I knew Craigslist wouldn't keep disappointing me ... :-)]
Friday 3 August 2007
Bored, and in pain
Not feeling my usual perky self today, but you'll be pleased to know that I did finally email Royal Marine Guy. Figured it was rather rude of me not to respond to his texts. It's a definite "no", boys and girls, though he has made it clear he's willing to "accommodate" me during any moments of weakness that might arise lol. Shame, really, because he is quite a sweet guy.
I'm finding myself inordinately bored with Craigslist today. I did respond to one of the posts there yesterday [Simple - m4w - 29]. He obviously liked my picture enough to get back to me, but unfortunately, I didn't like what I saw in the picture he sent me. No, he wasn't ugly, just not my type (whatever that is - it seems to change constantly!).
As for today's posts, they're all pretty boring and/or mundane, so no Prize Picks for you, I'm afraid. Maybe it's because of the "Friday Feeling". Apparently, British businesses are losing £50 million pounds a year all because people don't realise that Friday afternoon is still work time. I think they may have a point ... but then again, maybe people are just unofficially claiming back their unpaid overtime accumulated during the other four days of the week - that, or we really just can't be arsed to feign interest in work when the weekend's literally right under our noses.
Either way, here's hoping the Craigslist talent picks up next week ...
I'm finding myself inordinately bored with Craigslist today. I did respond to one of the posts there yesterday [Simple - m4w - 29]. He obviously liked my picture enough to get back to me, but unfortunately, I didn't like what I saw in the picture he sent me. No, he wasn't ugly, just not my type (whatever that is - it seems to change constantly!).
As for today's posts, they're all pretty boring and/or mundane, so no Prize Picks for you, I'm afraid. Maybe it's because of the "Friday Feeling". Apparently, British businesses are losing £50 million pounds a year all because people don't realise that Friday afternoon is still work time. I think they may have a point ... but then again, maybe people are just unofficially claiming back their unpaid overtime accumulated during the other four days of the week - that, or we really just can't be arsed to feign interest in work when the weekend's literally right under our noses.
Either way, here's hoping the Craigslist talent picks up next week ...
Thursday 2 August 2007
Gumtree!!!
In recognition of the fact that there are just as many crazy people on there (if not more!) than they have on Craigslist London, Gumtree has been added to the honor role on "My Sites of Interest". For those in the dark, please look to the right.
To welcome Gumtree to the fold, I have a special Gumtree Prize Pick of the Day:
Calling human females Age 55
Date: Thursday 2 August
Calling Human Females
I will be visiting your delightful planet in the near future and have been instructed To take up residence in a city called “London” the location will be in the NW of that city in an area called Kilburn.
As a visitor to your delightful planet I have been tasked with finding out more about your methods of reproduction, to that end I am seeking volunteers who would like the opportunity to help interplanetary relations expand in hitherto unexplored directions.
The subject (me) has assumed the appearance of a human male of approx 55 years of age (but surprisingly we have ascertained that he actually looks younger).
He is (in local measurements) 6 feet 3 inches tall and weighs around 13 stone, and is “ahem” built in proportion. Whatever THAT means.
He has eyes of blue (very strange you Earth people. BLUE eyes?) Short brown hair with I’m told a neat beard.
Fortunately for you the very attractive 3rd and 4th eyes have been concealed, as has been the beautiful bright blue and green skin of my people, I have also been told that the majority of your females would not appreciate the natural color of our eyes. Or the tentacles that grow from the back of our skull, so they have of course been concealed (which is VERY uncomfortable for me)
I have been allocated my own accommodation so privacy can be maintained to protect your identity .
Should you wish to be one of the lucky (?) females please observe the following conditions
1.You should be at least 5feet 6 inches tall and in proportion, by which we mean your weight should be in proportion to your height (we have been asked to find healthy specimens only. …Sorry)
2.In age you should be between 30 years of age and no more than that of the apparent age of the subject (me), which is 55 years of age.
3.Eye and hair color is not of great importance, what IS more important is that you possess both.
4.A sense of humor would also be appreciated.
Since this posting to your planet is likely to be a long one I would appreciate a longer term relationship, which would give me much greater opportunity for study.
Looking forward to teaching you all the wonderful things we get up to on my planet, Karma Sutra………. huh……….for beginners!
In anticipation, I am ……Kzztip
(There was a pic at the end so, for those who are interested, feel free to click the titled link! Please also get in touch so I can give you the number of my psychiatrist ...)
To welcome Gumtree to the fold, I have a special Gumtree Prize Pick of the Day:
Calling human females Age 55
Date: Thursday 2 August
Calling Human Females
I will be visiting your delightful planet in the near future and have been instructed To take up residence in a city called “London” the location will be in the NW of that city in an area called Kilburn.
As a visitor to your delightful planet I have been tasked with finding out more about your methods of reproduction, to that end I am seeking volunteers who would like the opportunity to help interplanetary relations expand in hitherto unexplored directions.
The subject (me) has assumed the appearance of a human male of approx 55 years of age (but surprisingly we have ascertained that he actually looks younger).
He is (in local measurements) 6 feet 3 inches tall and weighs around 13 stone, and is “ahem” built in proportion. Whatever THAT means.
He has eyes of blue (very strange you Earth people. BLUE eyes?) Short brown hair with I’m told a neat beard.
Fortunately for you the very attractive 3rd and 4th eyes have been concealed, as has been the beautiful bright blue and green skin of my people, I have also been told that the majority of your females would not appreciate the natural color of our eyes. Or the tentacles that grow from the back of our skull, so they have of course been concealed (which is VERY uncomfortable for me)
I have been allocated my own accommodation so privacy can be maintained to protect your identity .
Should you wish to be one of the lucky (?) females please observe the following conditions
1.You should be at least 5feet 6 inches tall and in proportion, by which we mean your weight should be in proportion to your height (we have been asked to find healthy specimens only. …Sorry)
2.In age you should be between 30 years of age and no more than that of the apparent age of the subject (me), which is 55 years of age.
3.Eye and hair color is not of great importance, what IS more important is that you possess both.
4.A sense of humor would also be appreciated.
Since this posting to your planet is likely to be a long one I would appreciate a longer term relationship, which would give me much greater opportunity for study.
Looking forward to teaching you all the wonderful things we get up to on my planet, Karma Sutra………. huh……….for beginners!
In anticipation, I am ……Kzztip
(There was a pic at the end so, for those who are interested, feel free to click the titled link! Please also get in touch so I can give you the number of my psychiatrist ...)
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