Tuesday 31 July 2007

It's all rather unfair

I've come to realise that I am very unfortunate in my choice of location - where I live, that is. I mean, it's great that Daniel and I are on the housing ladder; we can be smug, self-assured and protected, all by four simpe walls (and a 30% rise in our property's value since we bought it). What is unfair is that, having lived here now for three years to the day, I've come to realise that there are NO cute guys within a 20 mile vicinity of where I live.

South London has always had, and continues to have, a disparaging reputation. It's the land of chavs, council blocks and mugger-ridden tube stations that are few and far between. It is on the up though - going past Clapham, it's amazing how much the area has changed. Even bloody Brockley, a former wasteland, is on the up. So why oh why does my particular borough have to be so desolate and depressing? I started going to the local gym last year (for non-sex related reasons) but I am yet to find any male specimen who could be considered vaguely attractive. My fellow gym-goers can be divided into very distinct groups.

1. The fatties: huffing and puffing away on the elliptical trainers, barely breaking past the optimum cardio heartrate of a 70 year old
2. The musclies: invariably muscular, invariably short and facially challenged
3. The avies: skinny geeks on the bike mentally drooling over the latest pimp-and-ho MTV music video
4. The oldies: self-explanatory, really.

I even did a search on AdultFriendFinder to see what I came up with. The most attractive option I came across was a couple with a BNBW (Big [Not Beautiful!] Woman) and her cross-dressing balding husband. Yum(!)

So what am I to do? Keep shelling out for 1 hour taxi rides and late-night trains? Depressing, but looks like that's not going to change anytime soon. So, if any of you happen to know a cute single kinky under-35 male that lives in a South East London postcode, do let me know.

Monday 30 July 2007

My prize pick of the day .... 30/07/07

Anyone Into Age Play? I'll Be Your Baby - m4w - 38
Date: 2007-07-30, 8:54AM BST


I am 38 year old businessman. I really like age play and I love being a baby, complete with dummy, nappy (no peeing unless okay with you, and definitely nothing else), baby food, bottle with juice, etc.

This can include sex or not include sex.

Alternatively I am looking for a woman to be my "babysitter" - all you do is give me my bottle/baby food, change my nappy (peeing only if ok with you), wiping down my ****, lotioning me up, maybe giving me a bath, settling me in for bed, giving me my dummy. Could make this a regular thing.

I REALLY want to explore this as soon as possible, if you're willing to provide the items, even better! I am available anytime that is good for both of us.

I'm British, good looking and fun!!

(Peeing myself with laughter ... [only if ok with you!])

Now it's over, what next?

Back from holiday. Would love to say I'm feeling refreshed and wonderful, but that would be a stretch and a half! It's amazing how coming back to grey skies and the utter shittineess of one's life can take away all the ecstatic glee one managed to acquire while musing about on gorgeous beaches and by luxurious swimming pools.

To be fair, the holiday was rather brilliant. Did nothing other than eat, drink, drink some more and engage in almost no real sort of activity whatsoever. Spent a week on a wonderful island (can't really tell you where though) with miles of pure white sand beaches and clear blue waters. I did partake in an underwater boating trip, but spent most of the time distracted by the captain - all 6'2", tanned, tall, Portugese inch of him. Saw him the following day on the main stretch of beach when he proceeded to flirt outrageously and hand me his number. I had a giggle about that with Daniel afterwards. Yes, I did take the number, and yes, I promptly lost it on purpose. I do have some sort of moral code, which happens to include not indulging in trysts with random men whilst on a special holiday with the other half!

So now I'm back, what next? Trying my best to stay off AFF (it's scarily easily to find men to shag on there) and concentrating on work (I think!). I got a text from Royal Marine guy whilst I was away. He's off to Afghanistan in September and would like to meet up again. I haven't responded to it, and I don't think I ever will. As great as he was, I'm slowly learning that my usual one-time rule is best adhered to! I also got an email from Craig who apparently is now single. Should I or shouldn't I? Will let you know in due course ...

Tuesday 10 July 2007

Regatta loving in Henley

Got back from Henley yesterday morning after spending Saturday and Sunday night with a very good friend, Eric*, for his birthday. Forgot how manic Regatta weekend gets - Paddington Station was a mad-house on Saturday! Managed to squeeze on to a train - barely! - and even then, I was half- lapping some girl for the duration of the journey (and no, she wasn't cute enough to make it worth it!).

Didn't do much once I got there. Lazed about in the garden, swigging back copious amounts of Pimms and scoffing down barbecue food (yum!) There were only about six of us, so it didn't turn into some wild out-of-control rave. We headed up to the Barn Bar for the fireworks where I bumped into Andrew*, some guy I got together with about two years ago. I swore I wasn't who he thought I was, made my excuses and left. Truth be told, he was so off his trolley that he probably believed me! lol.

Strolled back from the Barn Bar with Sid*, a friend of Eric's who I'd met two years ago when I visited Eric up north. We did share a kiss back in the day, but that was just to test whether we were both good kissers, or so we said (yes, we were young, pissed and high!). We got on really well then, so it was great having him keep me company on the walk back to Eric's, especially seeing as I was so drunk I kept veering towards the Thames :) Lord knows what we talked about but I distinctly remember us jumping each other about two minutes away from Eric's front door. I'll say this much - simulated sex on a gravel driveway, unless you're really really REALLY drunk, is not the most comfortable of scenarios lol. No, I didn't sleep with him, but Lord knows I wanted to.

We jumped each other again the next day. Fairly risky as we were in plain view of Eric's window. I felt tres guilty, mainly because I've slept with way too many of Eric's friends, something I don't think he's too happy about. To be fair, I've also almost slept with Eric, so perhaps I should tell him to get off his bloody high horse (oral sex with another girl when you already have a girlfriend IS cheating, no matter how you try to spin it!)! So no, didn't shag Sid, but my guess is I probably will at some point. It's just a question of when. (I have so little self control!)

On a separate note, off on holiday tomorrow for two weeks which should be fun. I never did get my body into bikini-ready shape, but hey, I could always suck it in. Failing that, I can pretend to be pregnant. Daniel would love that(!) Fun times :) x

Fever Friday et al

So how'd the party go? Not too bad, actually. Met a good number of people, four of whom happened to recognise me from my AdultFriendFinder profile (scary!). Yes, Jon and Lisa were there. Was good to see them again, but Jon's got to learn not to be so pushy. He kept trying to keep hold of me all evening, which was rather annoying at the very least, especially when Lisa had already made it clear she was not in the mood to "play". Poor thing. I think they ended the night on a really bad argument because the last I saw of them, Lisa was storming back to their hotel with Jon several feet behind her looking very sheepish. Men - when will you all learn?!

No, I didn't end up going back with anyone but I did get some numbers and had a quick fumble here and there. Not sure if I'll be going to the next Fever event - to be fair, the average age of the people there seems to be edging closer and closer to the late thirties/early forties. Yes, I'm ageist. Deal with it!

Saturday night wasn't so good at first. Daniel was still away till Monday, the house was so empty and quiet and I was bouncing off the walls. Tried to convince Mark (see below) to meet up, but he was having none of it. I settled myself on the couch, resigning myself to a night in, but got a call from a friend, James*, and met up with him and his friends at Edgware Road. We all went back to his in Maida Vale to continue partying the night away. Totally convinced myself I wasn't going to end up in bed with him again. Fat chance! I ended up in bed with him and two of his male friends. Blame the Red Bull and Coke (both kinds!) Had a good time, but a hell of a comedown on Sunday morning. Didn't get home till 10 a.m., at which point I had a shower, changed my clothes and popped out of the house again to see some family. Luckily, they either didn't notice or didn't comment on the bloodshot eyes and incoherent ramblings.

Ended up at Mark's later that day and didn't leave till about 2 a.m. Monday morning. Had a great time again, but very odd frisson in the air. Can't explain it, but suffice to say I don't think I'll be meeting up with him again. Damn shame, but what can one do?

Don't worry. I might have had a crazy weekend but those tend to be few and far between, rather than the norm. I did have a lot of fun though. Kind of almost makes me wish I were single and could do stuff (and people!) like that all the time ...

(Then I realise that that's just crazy talk!!) x