And so it is ...

... that I haven't been around for a while. Still feeling under the weather but just about holding up.

In non-sick related news, went to my first Killing Kittens party yesterday. Daniel and I booked ourselves a suite at a nearby hotel and checked in fairly early in the day so we could get some shopping done for the party (which was to have an "Eyes Wide Shut" theme). We promptly headed over to Angels fancy dress store on Shaftesbury Avenue (they do a generous selection of Venetian masks). On arriving at the store, a queue of about 50 people too long snaked its way across the corner (mostly made up of the Halloween crowd). I left Daniel to sort out the masks whilst I indulged in some retail therapy. Stumped for what to wear, I popped into a shop on Regent Street and bought a suitable smart (but not TOO smart) black V-neck tulip dress with pockets (handy for carrying some extra condoms lol) without trying it on, figuring I could do that at the hotel. The only problem once I did? It was about 5 inches too long! Cue calling the concierge to send up a sewing kit and spending the next half hour studiously taking it up.

So, with our masks on, we grabbed a cab to the party, arriving at 10:30 pm. A fabulous venue near Great Portland Street, risque outfits and lots (I repeat, lots!) of champagne fuelled what should have been a hedonistic night of fun. Pity it turned out to be a bit of a damp squib. I have now come to realise that beautiful girls does not a party make!

Did Daniel and I get to participate in any off-the-wall behaviour? Stupid question, really lol. We got to try out the large bed in one of the rooms, got to try out a few women, had some random lady all over me like a rash (despite her constantly claiming she was "shy") and her potential late night shag inviting us back to his place (God knows where). Suffice to say, we declined, got dressed and headed back to our hotel suite for more satisfying fun in 2 hours than could be found in 5 hours back at the party.

So much effort for so little result. Shame, really, especially seeing as Jon and Lisa (a couple we met and played with at a previous Fever Open House party) invited us to a private swingers party at a (supposedly) posh country house in Essex to be held on the same night. Ah well, better luck next time. Funnily enough, there's a Fever party next Saturday somewhere in the Docklands which we've also got tickets to. That'll be our first proper Fever party, as opposed to the Open House parties which, on the whole, are more socially (as opposed to sexually) inclined. I'm not going to hold my breath - then again, a bit of optimism never hurt anybody.

I shall keep you posted! x

*Sniff, sniff*

I know my posts have been sporadic at best. Not been feeling too well. Actually, that's an understatement. I've been feeling like shite! Ill, sick, manic - you name it, I feel it.

So, in the throes of my self-pity, you can see why I haven't been the most regular of folks. In the meantime, I have joined up on the KillingKittens website. Its parties are supposedly Fever-style, but better (not surprised. The rumour goes that the lady who set it up was a Fever panel defector). Not been on there for long so far, but I'm sure you'll hear more about it as time goes on.

On that note, going back to sleep on the sofa. I'm too weak to provide you with any clean stories, let alone dirty ones ... xx

My Prize Pick of the Day ... 04/10/07

Female needed with drivers license and willing to - m4w - 40
Date: 2007-10-04, 4:44PM BST

You wont find this job at the job centre!!!I need someone to work with me as an assistant and to share the driving. the pays is good and there are bonuses. You need to be young attractive (to inspire me) and fit cause the work is not heavy but demanding. The hours are long in the winter but we can always make it fun and hang out in coffee shops/restaurants lunchtimes. You'll meet some interesting people recieve good sex and get paid! it's a full time position and properly legal you'll get well looked after and you need to keep the boss happy :-) At least i'm honest!! earnings would be in excess of £24,000 (£13,000 plus around £300+ bonuses per week) (we could discuss it though)

[Once again, Craigslist comes through with a sterling winner ... weird, strange, possibly scary ... but still a winner!]

My Prize Pick of the Day ... 01/10/07

adult baby needs wet nappy changing Age: 36
Date: Monday 1st October

hi,, i,m a adult nappy wearer,,it,s my fetish,,,i love wearing and wetting my nappies,,its not easy to find a place to change my nappy...so if any woman would not mind me useing her place to change my wet nappy,, or you can if you like/////// ealing area please or surrounding areas,,,all the best,, wetnappy

(Today's prize pick comes to you courtesy of Gumtree, a site full of rich pickings. Craigslist definitely needs to up its game!)

My Prize Pick of the Day ... 27/09/07

Freckles? - m4w - 44
Date: 2007-09-27, 5:39PM BST

Aren't there any freckled-bottomed women out there for laughing sex on a chilly autumn day?

If you have freckle-proving picture I guarantee a reply!

[I'm really scraping the bottom of the barrel now, but I DID promise you a prize pick ...]

Who'd have thought ...

I got a text from Patrick yesterday. How odd. He obviously didn't realise that his last bridge was burnt with THAT unnecessary email ...

In other news, I'm fully enjoying having my Daniel back in all possible ways. So much so that I'm thinking about turning off my profile on AdultFriendFinder temporarily. Yes, I know you're probably thinking that that's just crazy talk, but I'm being serious. Plus, I figured what with the title of this blog, I have been neglecting what used to be my home away from home lol. Then again, that's just because of the disappointments I've had ... I mean, why do men who are no more than 5'8" claim to be "tall"?! In oompa loompa land maybe, but not in the real world ... or not in MY real world, I should say. But don't worry guys. I'm not going all soft and domestic on you. I'm sure this will be a passing phase till my next conquest comes along.

Speaking of conquests, I was chatting with a friend earlier this week and, as it always does, the conversation turned round to sex and what constitutes an acceptable number of "partners". She thought 10, I thought, "Fuck, I passed that point a looong time ago!" I sometimes wonder if that bothers me. I mean, there aren't that many people (let alone females) in their twenties who truly don't know how many people they've slept with. Then again, I've never had an STD or a pregnancy scare, I always use a condom, I get myself checked out twice a year and I'm pretty honest with anyone I'm even thinking of shagging, so I can't be doing THAT badly. I might book myself a session of penance though, just to be on the safe side (would love to see how a priest would react to the stories I have to tell! THAT would definitely be a hidden camera moment! lol)

Well, I shall stop my aimless rambling now. I promise to have a Prize Pick at some point this week, so keep your eyes peeled ...

There wasn't a hope in hell!

So much for keeping my mouth and legs shut! That didn't work out too well for me though, to be fair, I simply revisited some old "friends". I had a bet going with Royal Marine Guy that I wouldn't touch the DDS for the whole time Daniel was away. For those who don't know what that means, it stands for "Drink, Drugs and Sex". So how'd I do?

Abysmally! I managed till Friday last week but a pal's leaving do at work put paid to my self-grown halo. The Drink got me, The Drugs got me (though I'm now starting to think that maybe a joint doesn't count ...) but I managed quite well on The Sex. A drunken kiss and fumble does not a sexual encounter make!

So, by Friday night, the scores were as follows:

Royal Marine Guy - 2.5 : Citygal - 0

(apparently, a kiss and a fumble counts as 0.5 ...)

The Sex got me on Saturday when I innocently suggested meeting up with Mark for a drink. We went to a great bar called Loungelover in east London. What kept me amused the whole evening was some guy blatantly trying (and, at the same time, failing) to flirt with Mark who, at one point, bent over so low that his trousers left nothing to the imagination! Tres hilarious! Aaanyway, somehow I ended up back at Mark's place and ... you know the rest. This time I stayed over which I really really NEVER do! A combination of pleasant exhaustion and not wanting to go back to an empty house and an empty bed, methinks.

So, by Sunday morning, the scores were as follows:

Royal Marine Guy - 4 : Citygal - 0

(yes, sex with Mark counted as a definitive 1.5 ...!)

The Sex almost got me (again!) on Monday night when I agreed to meet up with a guy I'd exchanged emails with on AdultFriendFinder - as he was Irish, I'll go with stereotypes and call him Patrick*. Patrick, would you believe it, sent me a really cute, obviously posed pic. Nothing wrong with that, though I figured him being 35, the pic must have been taken a fair while back. Again, nothing wrong with that, except that an hour before we were due to meet up, a message popped up on my phone from Patrick entitled "A more recent pic ...". Let's just say the person in this pic bore absolutely no relation to the person in the first. And you guys think it's only us girls that lie! Still kept up our "date" at my local pub. Why? Because the real pic wasn't half bad. But by then I'd already decided that nothing was going to happen. There's nothing I hate more than being misled! Sent him an email to that effect after our "date" to which he responded that ... oh fuck it, I'll just paste the email below:

Hi xxxxxx
You don't do texts??? It would have been easier than logging on to this site! Well your formula for ending things remains the same, the Adult FriendFinder route, lol.
There are reasons for most things and I did explain my reasons, which were legitimate in my view and I've no regrets. I'm not ashamed of what I look like at all, my dimple is enough, lol.. its the site thing, if I'd had an email addy or phone number then you would have got the 2nd photo first [ed - he could have sent the real picture to my email inbox on AFF from the start so no excuse!]. You were not misled and you are more than capable of saying no to a meet before I got on a train. Misled is Mr short,fat and married with a beard turnig up!
Did enjoy meeting you and making you laugh so again, no regrets, not sure if I would have slept with you though, which is why I was not even going to be cheeky and suggest going home with you the other night. Not that you aren't attractive, more the contrary, your the sort I would fall for totally.
Take care and hope you find some happiness, you don't strike me as someone very happy, and thanks for indulging my stories and yarns.
Yesterday I thought of watching a xxxxxxx movie with you and we both laughing...of all things, rather than me thinking of you standing there wearing nothing but heels and baby oil...that is a huge compliment by the way.....like I say, there are reasons for things happening or in this case not happening.
Glad you got home safe anyway x

You get the gist ....

But don't worry, the week did end on a positive note. Met up with Royal Marine Guy for a meal [again, at my local] on Wednesday. The poor staff there must think I'm such a _____ (you fill in the blank!). After the meal, we got ourselves a room at a local hotel and ... again, you know the rest.

So, by Thursday morning, the scores were as follows:

Royal Marine Guy - 4.5 : Citygal - 0

(RMG gets half a point deducted for scoring an own goal!)

Exhausting week, n'est-ce pas? It's been tiring enough typing it all! So now, I'm off to enjoy the weekend with Daniel. Enjoy your weekend(s)! x

All by myself .....

Daniel's gone bye-bye so at home all on my lonesome. Very sleepy but don't want to go to bed just yet. Been playing around on cam on AFF for a while - and by "playing around", I mean reading the most ridiculous messages a lot of guys seem to send me and laughing my head off!

No plans for the weekend yet, though they might involve Royal Marine Guy at some point - doing my bit for my country and all before he gets posted to Afghanistan. I feel terribly noble! lol. Maybe I should give Craig a call as well - after all, he is finally single now. Or Mark - though haven't spoken to him in a while.

Aaaargh, who knows? Maybe I just need to keep my legs (and mouth!) shut till Danny boy returns. That would be a novelty well worth trying ....

Tired

So the same old Fever thing went down last night. Saw a few people we knew, met some new ones. Played around a bit, but didn't end up going back with anyone. What I can say definitively is that I think I have officially had my fill of Fever.

[Though, knowing me, I'm liable to change my mind at the gentlest persuasion ... ]

Off to Fever ...

About to leave the house in the next few minutes avec Daniel for the Fever Open House. Not sure I'm looking forward to it that much - it'll probably be the same old faces (old being the operative word!) lol. Had a few couples recognise me at the last one from my profile on AdultFriendFinder (tres scary!). I remember one of the couples didn't approach me that night but sent me a message on AFF the following day, asking if I'd seen them and if I'd like to meet up. I have to say, to save their feelings, I pretended I'd been so drunk that I hadn't seen or recognised them - which. as you might have already guessed, was a complete and utter lie! I HAD seen them and, unfortunately, there was no way I was going anywhere near the female of that couple, no matter how much of a "novice" she was. I don't do pity cases!

Ok, being bitchy again lol. I should stop and leave now. Will let you know how it goes upon our return ...

My Prize Pick of the Day ... 06/09/07

Ballbusting fascination - m4w - 50
Date: 2007-09-06, 3:22PM BST

Have had recent fascination with ballbusting (girls maltreating mens' nether regions - mostly VERY severely) and want to try it (but starting gently!!!!!!!! as I have no idea what I can take!) Need girl to kick me barefoot in the bare balls - starting gently, but increasing until I end up curled up on the floor - may take only a couple of shots - may take a few. I just don't know. I'm a reasonably decent looking guy - pleasant, clean,cultured with a strange obsession. Need someone to cure me of it. Ideally I'd like a slim, small lady to do this - the more vulnerable looking the better somehow.

F*ck RMT!! F*ck the lot of them!

How naive was I to think that the tube strike wouldn't affect me?! Could barely get a spot on the train to and from work - it was that packed! Work was no better. No, it wasn't packed. I just have to deal with lazy managers that are stupid as f*ck!

All in all, this week isn't shaping up to much. As for the responses to my ad on Craigslist, let's just say I won't be responding to any of those responses any time soon.

My Prize Pick of the Day ... 03/09/07

Tube strike - m4w - 41
Date: 2007-09-03, 12:45PM BST

Would anyone like to make the best of the tube strike tonight or tomorrow? I am a good-looking, fit City professional with a lovely river-view flat -- no tube required. Drinks, a nice dinner, and somewhere to stat [sic] tonight, walkable to the City tomorrow morning!

[You have to love the creativity of this post - pity I only use the overland rail to get to work ... ]

New ad

Daniel's away for a while in the next couple of weeks, so impulsively decided to post an ad on the Craigslist London Casual Encounters page. If you'd like to see it, I've included the link here and pasted it below.

Possible possibilities - w4m - 23
Reply to: pers-411597319@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-09-01, 7:45PM BST

Will be at a loose end in one of the coming weeks and looking for someone to keep me company.

My stats: F, 23, 5'4", 8 (not my shoe size!), very attractive with a great body, solvent, well-spoken and very polite when in public, a complete and total _______ in private (you fill in the blank).

Your stats: M, 20 - 35 (no exceptions!), 5'10" and above, (couldn't care less about your shoe size, just don't be a trainer-wearing "hoodie"), very attractive with a great body, solvent, not attached, well-spoken and very polite when in public, a complete and total ________ in private (I'll fill in that blank).

Face pics appreciated and prioritised (if I like what I see and read, you'll get one in return). Dick pics, pic-collectors, spelling mistakes/grammatical errors and "one-liners" aren't.


We'll see how it goes. So far, I'm not holding out much hope ... but at least I've had a couple of laughs. Maybe you'll get to see/read what tickled my funny bone in the next few days ...

P.S. - In case you didn't notice, I've also included the anonymous Craigslist email address assigned to me. If any of you think you can do better than most of the men on there, then you're more than welcome to try your luck!

The eternal battle ....

... between myself and crockery ...

(Just in case you were wondering - the crockery lost!)

Isn't family a b*tch?!

I've always been known as the weird one in my family. The one with the violent mood swings, the quick temper, the tendency to beat (and bite!) the crap out of anyone who pissed me off. Add to that my lack of Catholic morals and you've pretty much got a bad 'un right there.

However, for someone labelled the black sheep, I'm a fucking paragon of responsibility. I've fought tooth and nail to get to where I am without their help and come up smelling of roses. And despite me wanting to hate them as much as I should, I find myself caring more than I ought to. But no more. The past week has been about making changes, so here are a few steady and true facts to set me on my merry way post-Bank Holiday Monday:

1. I am a bitch. I always have been and always will be. These intermittent slip-ups where I actually give a fuck about certain people are just blips on my bitch record.

2. I am only going to care about people who care about me. And no, not people who say that they do, but those who show it on a regular basis. Words are like arseholes - everyone's got them and, more often than not, they're full of shit!

3. I refuse to make decisions for people any more. Sure, I might point them in the direction of the rising tide, but whether they sink or swim is up to them.

4. Fear and respect can (and should) sometimes mean one and the same thing.

5. Revenge can be extremely satisfying. So can active, heartless and resolute sabotage!

6. Did I mention that I was a bitch?

Now all I have to do is repeat these statements of wisdom when I find myself slipping up and I should be just fine.

P.S. - To those that say that girls mature faster than boys, that's just an excuse made up by paedophiles and idiotic bastards in the middle of a mid-life crisis. At 16, if you're old enough to fuck (which, in the UK, you are), then you're old enough to stop other people fucking you over.

My Prize Pick of the Day ... 28/08/07

My wife is asleep. Want to cum on her? - mw4mm - 32
Date: 2007-08-28, 2:01AM BST

We're an American couple here on vacation. We decided to go out for some dinner and drinks and my wife has become completely hammered and is passed out on our hotel bed. I would love to see a guy come over and masturbate over her if you can be quiet. Think you're up for this?

[Once again, let us rejoice in the consistency that is Craigslist-London!]

Absinthe-ing in Clapham

Finally decided to get off my lazy butt and get out of the house for a bit. Went to a pal's house party in Clapham where we proceeded to do see just how much absinthe we could handle. You'll be pleased to know that I came second. You won't be pleased to know that I now have a raging hangover (feels like a meat cleaver continuously slicing into my brain matter!).

As is usually the case, where there's alcohol, there's sex. Sex this time came in the form of the absinthe winner Joshua* - lovely guy I've met on a few occasions, but I just never bit the bullet. Well, this time, I bit the bullet and much more! Felt rather wrong though - he's just so sweet and unassuming, and I initially felt like I was taking advantage of him being drunk et al. Fat chance of that! He's a dirty little f*cker (pardon my French!)! There are some people that say, show me how a person has sex and I'll tell you who they are (ok, fine, not some people - me!!). Joshua's carnal behaviour last night DOES NOT translate into the reality of what you see in real time, which just makes it all the more shocking. No, I am not going into salacious details as my head is still reeling (and no, that's not just the alcohol!) . Let's just say certain objects and actions were involved that would make Ron Jeremy blush and convert to Buddhism ...

Embarrassed I might be, but God, I'm SO glad I abolished the one-time rule!!!!

PS - I know my "Prize Picks of the Day" have been a little thin on the ground. Craigslist has been unusually quiet ... (but we all know that will change!)

What a difference a day makes ...

From being blissfully happy to being in a downright rotten mood. In fact, I'm wallowing in a pool of self pity. Don't worry, it'll pass - no doubt helped along by the fact that, after a long hiatus, I've finally managed to score a replacement pot dealer. This time, I won't make the mistake I made with my former one - shagging your drug dealer is NEVER a good idea!!! Letting him move halfway across the world without at least getting you a replacement - even worse!

In fact, I'm turning a lot of things in my life around -
1. The one-time rule has been officially abolished - it was too hard to keep to it.
2. Recreational drugs are back on the menu - see above.
3. I'm now shagging couples sans Daniel. So many females to turn, so little time ...
4. I'm listening to music again - cheesy pop, soppy ballads, old time classics, grunge, jazz, Simon and Garfunkel, Rufus Wainwright's "Hallelujah", Meditation from Thais the opera (you name it, I've got it on my iTunes player - even embarrassing Disney songs from my childhood!)
5. I finally finished Dostoevsky's Crime and Punishment - I kept putting the Epilogue off as it made me too upset (yes, I'm a weirdo who gets ridiculously attached to novels!)
6. I'm learning to accept my scars of previous years - insane rage and self-harming will fuck you up, but so will denial.

Of course, all of this might change in an instant. But for now, I'm going to enjoy it all for as long as I can.

Suddenly, I feel better :-)

My Prize Pick of the Day ... 19/08/07

Tart With A Heart? - m4w - 60 (Have car can travel)
Date: 2007-08-19, 10:08PM BST

I'm a 60 year old man with impotence caused by a combination of illness (nothing life threatening nor contagious) and old age.

However, I have an insatiable libido and I'm looking for some mutual oral enjoyment. Although I am unable to fuck you senseless, I have honed my oral skills to almost an art form and can lick you to the point of orgasm and beyond.

Perhaps you would like to reciprocate and endeavour to blow some life into my flacid, wrinkled pathetic little cock?

I'm sure that with the right partner, a little patience and some tlc, we can get this thing licked.

I cannot accommodate but can travel.

[He really knows how to make it sound so appealing ... Poor thing ...]