Who'd have thought ...

I got a text from Patrick yesterday. How odd. He obviously didn't realise that his last bridge was burnt with THAT unnecessary email ...

In other news, I'm fully enjoying having my Daniel back in all possible ways. So much so that I'm thinking about turning off my profile on AdultFriendFinder temporarily. Yes, I know you're probably thinking that that's just crazy talk, but I'm being serious. Plus, I figured what with the title of this blog, I have been neglecting what used to be my home away from home lol. Then again, that's just because of the disappointments I've had ... I mean, why do men who are no more than 5'8" claim to be "tall"?! In oompa loompa land maybe, but not in the real world ... or not in MY real world, I should say. But don't worry guys. I'm not going all soft and domestic on you. I'm sure this will be a passing phase till my next conquest comes along.

Speaking of conquests, I was chatting with a friend earlier this week and, as it always does, the conversation turned round to sex and what constitutes an acceptable number of "partners". She thought 10, I thought, "Fuck, I passed that point a looong time ago!" I sometimes wonder if that bothers me. I mean, there aren't that many people (let alone females) in their twenties who truly don't know how many people they've slept with. Then again, I've never had an STD or a pregnancy scare, I always use a condom, I get myself checked out twice a year and I'm pretty honest with anyone I'm even thinking of shagging, so I can't be doing THAT badly. I might book myself a session of penance though, just to be on the safe side (would love to see how a priest would react to the stories I have to tell! THAT would definitely be a hidden camera moment! lol)

Well, I shall stop my aimless rambling now. I promise to have a Prize Pick at some point this week, so keep your eyes peeled ...

My Prize Pick of the Day ... 03/09/07

Tube strike - m4w - 41
Date: 2007-09-03, 12:45PM BST

Would anyone like to make the best of the tube strike tonight or tomorrow? I am a good-looking, fit City professional with a lovely river-view flat -- no tube required. Drinks, a nice dinner, and somewhere to stat [sic] tonight, walkable to the City tomorrow morning!

[You have to love the creativity of this post - pity I only use the overland rail to get to work ... ]

New ad

Daniel's away for a while in the next couple of weeks, so impulsively decided to post an ad on the Craigslist London Casual Encounters page. If you'd like to see it, I've included the link here and pasted it below.

Possible possibilities - w4m - 23
Reply to: pers-411597319@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-09-01, 7:45PM BST

Will be at a loose end in one of the coming weeks and looking for someone to keep me company.

My stats: F, 23, 5'4", 8 (not my shoe size!), very attractive with a great body, solvent, well-spoken and very polite when in public, a complete and total _______ in private (you fill in the blank).

Your stats: M, 20 - 35 (no exceptions!), 5'10" and above, (couldn't care less about your shoe size, just don't be a trainer-wearing "hoodie"), very attractive with a great body, solvent, not attached, well-spoken and very polite when in public, a complete and total ________ in private (I'll fill in that blank).

Face pics appreciated and prioritised (if I like what I see and read, you'll get one in return). Dick pics, pic-collectors, spelling mistakes/grammatical errors and "one-liners" aren't.


We'll see how it goes. So far, I'm not holding out much hope ... but at least I've had a couple of laughs. Maybe you'll get to see/read what tickled my funny bone in the next few days ...

P.S. - In case you didn't notice, I've also included the anonymous Craigslist email address assigned to me. If any of you think you can do better than most of the men on there, then you're more than welcome to try your luck!

My Prize Pick of the Day ... 28/08/07

My wife is asleep. Want to cum on her? - mw4mm - 32
Date: 2007-08-28, 2:01AM BST

We're an American couple here on vacation. We decided to go out for some dinner and drinks and my wife has become completely hammered and is passed out on our hotel bed. I would love to see a guy come over and masturbate over her if you can be quiet. Think you're up for this?

[Once again, let us rejoice in the consistency that is Craigslist-London!]

My Prize Pick of the Day ... 19/08/07

Tart With A Heart? - m4w - 60 (Have car can travel)
Date: 2007-08-19, 10:08PM BST

I'm a 60 year old man with impotence caused by a combination of illness (nothing life threatening nor contagious) and old age.

However, I have an insatiable libido and I'm looking for some mutual oral enjoyment. Although I am unable to fuck you senseless, I have honed my oral skills to almost an art form and can lick you to the point of orgasm and beyond.

Perhaps you would like to reciprocate and endeavour to blow some life into my flacid, wrinkled pathetic little cock?

I'm sure that with the right partner, a little patience and some tlc, we can get this thing licked.

I cannot accommodate but can travel.

[He really knows how to make it sound so appealing ... Poor thing ...]

My Prize Pick of the Day ... 13/08/07

Seeking Secks - m4m - 27
Date: 2007-08-13, 12:39PM BST

I'm str8 and engaged, but not sure why I love sucking cock so much *** .....

[*** Hmmm, could it be because you're actually - shock, horror - bi/gay???]
P.S. - Couldn't be arsed pasting the rest :-)

My Prize Pick of the Day ... 08/08/07 (It's a tie!!!)

Sexy lips... - w4m - 28
Date: 2007-08-08, 10:23AM BST

I would like to do lips enhancement and booked a visit on the 15th of August.

It is gonna cost me £370.

Who would like to make it happen? :)

I would like to meet one guy only! I am not into many so do not bother if you are not happy to offer your help in full.
It is gonna be a one off meeting at your place for a couple of hours to show you how grateful I can be :) I promise, you will never regret it..This includes sex, not a BJ only! I am very open minded in a bed deparrment and happy to explore other scenes too (3sums, swinger clubs, fetish, role plays, etc)

Me: young, tall, curvy, great tanned body, high maintenance and kinky blonde :)

I would like to know something about you before we meet and see your face picture, I do not go for blind dates. If you are younger than 27 please do not reply to this post.


This is a very genuine ad and I require genuine replies.

Offer ends on the 14th of August!

[I would like to get a personal trainer but it's going to cost me £400 a month. Who would like to make it happen? :-) Obviously, if you just so happen to be a hot personal trainer yourself, all the better! We can forego the £400 and, in exchange, I'd like a rock hard _______ ]

My Prize Pick of the Day ... 08/08/07

mature woman to cum in my mouth - m4w - 45
Date: 2007-08-08, 10:14AM BST

you must be STD free. I'll come along lick you off make you cum in my mouth and be gone. MUST be under size 16 Would help if you could pay my fares as am unemployed at moment* Extra points if married with kids more chance of being STD free...

[Erm, when did I miss the memo that we could now recoup travel costs from our casual encounters???]

* emphasis added by Ed

My Prize Pick of the Day ... 07/08/07

afternoon fun? - m4w - 43
Date: 2007-08-07, 10:16AM BST

looking for a young student or single mum to have some afternoon fun with today. Will bring my wallet and come to a happy comprimise [sic]. I am good looking,clean and discreet. Good body so come on ladies...we could have a great time. Hope to hear soon x

[Ok, why is this a "Prize Pick", I hear you ask? There's just something rather saddening and repulsive about these "Pyotr Petrovich Luzhin"s on Craigslist. For some strange reason, they seem to believe that they are "too good" for a regular escort and, instead, seek to prey on people who are most likely down on their luck and, as a result, rather vulnerable. Then again, who am I to judge what most people might claim is simply an exchange of required services ... *sigh*]

PS - I'm obviously in a miserable, overly-pious mood today. Don't worry. It will pass (probably a lot sooner than it should ...)

My Prize Pick of the Day ... 06/08/07

cheesy nob - m4m
Date: 2007-08-06, 10:08AM BST

hi fellas any one with an unwashed cheesy helmet, love the smell taste and being forced to clean it slowly...builder copper geeza wnated [sic]

My Prize Pick of the Day ... 04/08/07

I will pay to smell men's sweaty socks - 38
Date: 2007-08-04, 8:18AM BST

love to worship your sweaty socks and kiss your feet sir,thats all i want master, come and relax , have a beer, and put yor sweaty feet in my face as i worship you, please can i give you thirty quid to earn permission to kiss your soles. very genuine, goodlooking and submissive

[I knew Craigslist wouldn't keep disappointing me ... :-)]

Bored, and in pain

Not feeling my usual perky self today, but you'll be pleased to know that I did finally email Royal Marine Guy. Figured it was rather rude of me not to respond to his texts. It's a definite "no", boys and girls, though he has made it clear he's willing to "accommodate" me during any moments of weakness that might arise lol. Shame, really, because he is quite a sweet guy.

I'm finding myself inordinately bored with Craigslist today. I did respond to one of the posts there yesterday [Simple - m4w - 29]. He obviously liked my picture enough to get back to me, but unfortunately, I didn't like what I saw in the picture he sent me. No, he wasn't ugly, just not my type (whatever that is - it seems to change constantly!).

As for today's posts, they're all pretty boring and/or mundane, so no Prize Picks for you, I'm afraid. Maybe it's because of the "Friday Feeling". Apparently, British businesses are losing £50 million pounds a year all because people don't realise that Friday afternoon is still work time. I think they may have a point ... but then again, maybe people are just unofficially claiming back their unpaid overtime accumulated during the other four days of the week - that, or we really just can't be arsed to feign interest in work when the weekend's literally right under our noses.

Either way, here's hoping the Craigslist talent picks up next week ...

My prize pick of the day .... 30/07/07

Anyone Into Age Play? I'll Be Your Baby - m4w - 38
Date: 2007-07-30, 8:54AM BST

I am 38 year old businessman. I really like age play and I love being a baby, complete with dummy, nappy (no peeing unless okay with you, and definitely nothing else), baby food, bottle with juice, etc.

This can include sex or not include sex.

Alternatively I am looking for a woman to be my "babysitter" - all you do is give me my bottle/baby food, change my nappy (peeing only if ok with you), wiping down my ****, lotioning me up, maybe giving me a bath, settling me in for bed, giving me my dummy. Could make this a regular thing.

I REALLY want to explore this as soon as possible, if you're willing to provide the items, even better! I am available anytime that is good for both of us.

I'm British, good looking and fun!!

(Peeing myself with laughter ... [only if ok with you!])

My prize pick of the day .... 06/05/07

I'd like to put my toe in your bottom. - 20
Date: 2007-05-06, 4:41PM BST

Hello,

I'd like to put my toe in your bottom. I have two big toes, one with a regular nail, and the other with no nail or nail bed. This means I can guarantee a uniquely smooth toe-in-bum experience, or if you like a bit of rough, I can use the nailed one, or both.

No timewasters.


PS - I normally don't post photos, but this you HAD to see!! hehe

My prize pick of the day .... 25/04/07

Lovely Farting Women & Girls.......Cum To Me Sweethearts.......... - m4w - 27
Date: 2007-04-25, 8:48PM BST

I am an Italian, good looking, clean & safe. Sex is my hobby & I have a big one. I can accomodate [sic]. The only thing that turns me on - is farting girls & women......well when I am hopping in between her thighs she must fart loudly from her big round juicy ass.....does not matter if it smells bad - i dont [sic] mind at all......i love to suck cunts, fill them with cum & make them blow out the cum using cumfart techniques.......I make a woman cum 7 - 8 times when i take her to bed......& lastly when I am pounding her ass & doing anal she must fart so hard that her assholes must throw out my cock from her ass.....we all fart so why not become a little dirty.......especially white girls are very juicy, beautiful & dirty so maybe all you big bum beauties can cum to me & obliege [sic] me by having lovely discreet fuckfart [sic?] evening events.......remember to eat lots of beef & drink gallons of hot creamy choclate [sic] milk so that it helps you give big blows of fart when we both are banging inside the couch....dont [sic] you love to hear huge farting sounds coming from the ass which are accompanied by the wet blaping [sic] slippery sounds when the cock is banging your vagina ... women of any age & color can apply (so long as you have a lovely dripping & farting apple bottom bubble ass) but please send me a photo - no pics no reply - i'll wait for your replies..i'll take you for a heavy pork dinner so you can fart like a pig in the bed & from there we go to my place & start blaping & farting till our neighbours commit sucide [sic].....KISSES......

PS - What did I say about the weird things we Londoners get our kicks from ........ Welcome to a whole new level!

My prize pick of the day .... 24/04/07

Man stink - m4m - 38
Date: 2007-04-24, 4:21PM BST

Im [sic] looking for a dirty unwashed bloke. I love the stink of men pits feet dirtynob [sic] and hole, want to give you atongue [sic] bath .

Ideally some one dominant and apprecitate [sic] some one enjoying their smell.

builder copper scaoffolder [sic]

Paul* - October 2005 (Part Deux ... or is it?)

I got an email from Paul* last week. Considering I haven't seen, spoken to or emailed him since the last time we met up [close on two years ago], it was a bit of a surprise. Actually, it wasn't - you'd be amazed how persistent men can be, even if it is sporadic. (An example - I had great sessions of phone and cam sex with a guy in Sweden I met on IRC in early 2004. He still emails me to this very day, even though I haven't spoken to him since April 2004. For all he knows, I could be dead, but he STILL keeps trying! Admirable, sad, or just plain stalker-crazy - you decide.)

Anyway, I know I said I wouldn't meet up with him again, but temptation keeps rearing its ugly head - that, or just boredom with a splash of curiosity - but I must remember to keep my recent vow regarding attached men. Somehow, I think I'll be maintaining the status quo ...

*all names have been changed to protect the guilty

Craig* - March 2007

As I mentioned in my previous post, I met up with Craig* after he responded to my most recent post on CL. He was one of those kind enough to send a picture with his initial email. Lovely smile, albeit slightly cheesy (which he himself readily acknowledged).

We met up at Pagliacci on Kingsway [near Holborn]. As you can imagine, mistakes are easily made when meeting up with someone whom you've never seen before. And, no matter what some men say, pictures can (and do!) lie on a regular basis! Well, Craig's picture told the God honest truth (to be quite fair, his picture didn't do him justice). Not terribly tall, but a very cute face and the smile looked more pleasing and less cheesy in person. And he was all of 25! [My Daddy issues are dissipating!] Mid-conversation, I was wondering just how soon we would end up in bed together when - horror of horrors - he admitted he had a girlfriend! Yes, yes, I can hear you all screaming, "well, that's never bothered you before!", but hey, people change! Think of it as one of my numerous New Year resolutions .... [one of which I ended up breaking on the stroke of midnight at a swingers' club in Paris ... :)]

So no, I didn't take things further, though Lord knows I wanted to. We were in the bar for all of three hours, but it didn't feel like it, we got on that well. Amongst other things, we swapped horror stories (sexual and non-sexual) and I got a peek at his girlfriend's picture, a drop dead gorgeous Scandinavian who was apparently away on holiday in Asia for a month. You know, sometimes I just can't understand why men who end up with stunners jeopardize that with sordid thrills. It makes absolutely no sense to me [but then again, I'm not a man.]

Craig*, if you're reading this - my offer still stands. Call me if and when you end up single or, failing that, if you AND your girlfriend would like to play [What can I say? I'm greedy!]

Result: no sex (not even a kiss, I was being that pious!)
Contact: further contact a definite (and much desired!!) possibility ....

*all names have been changed to protect the guilty

My prize pick of the day .... 19/03/07

An Invitation - m4w - 28
Date: 2007-03-19, 12:41PM GMT

Hi,

I'd like to spank your bottom, I'd like [to] make you laugh.
I'd like to sign your gorgeous breasts with my gorgeous autograph.
I'd like to turn you over, I'd like to fondle you and feel
I'd like to hear your oragasm [sic], as long as it is real.

If you're in a kimono, and I am in my clothes,
I'd open it and kiss your breasts and fiddle with your nose.
I'd take you out for dinner, I'd take you out for drinks,
I'd be thninking [sic] dreadful thoughts about you, you dirty little minx.

If you could just stand naked, I would watch on bare,
I'd examine your bits and bobs intently, and stroke your luscious hair.
I'd kiss you on the mouth, and screw you in your toot,
I'd happily change my aftershave if you really didn't like Brut.

I have had enough.

I am an international man of mystery, and I think you are an adventurous person who would like to meet me in a public place, and then spend the days and nights rolling around in bed.

You should be female, nervous, and keen to get out of the cold and let me into your pants. I expect you toput [sic] up a bit of resistance as you are a lady, as I am a gent, eg: 'Oh no I couldn't possibly - tee hee'.

You should be wise and funny, and probably quite mad, as otherwise you wouldn't be playing on here anyway.

SEND A PHOTO!!!

Yours sincerely,

XXXX

PS - A headless pic of the so-called "International Man of Mystery" was attached. Let's just say a grubby black t-shirt and faded jeans (and a half-rate digital camera) don't cut it.

Ironic, isn't it? - March 2007

I placed a post on CL earlier this month which ended up being flagged for some reason or the other. It's rather stupid that women's posts get flagged up simply because they are posted by women - most men on CL seem to be so disillusioned that they simply can't entertain the possibility of a real non-escorting female posting on there. Ah well, their loss. Just in case you were wondering what the post was:

Ironic, isn't it? - w4m

The men who post on here looking for fun that then go running when they get an actual response from a real attractive female who proves who she says she is on cam, isn't looking for a millionaire or to get paid for doing God knows what. Apparently, I came across as so normal that something just had to be amiss.

Well, there isn't. I'm young, happy in my current situation and like safe casual sex as much as the next person. Yes, like every other female that posts on here, I'm picky. They go for a man with a big wallet assuming that he'll have a brain to match. I neither want nor need your cash. All I ask is that you're attractive with a brain, coupled with an ability to speak proper English and spell. Not asking much, am I? Though with the state/comprehensive education system in this country, I just might be ...

If you're interested, feel free to send an email with or without a pic. Just don't keep your hopes up if you go with the latter. And please, please, please, I really can't stand "dick" pics. If I wanted to collect those, all I'd have to do is type in the word "dick" on Google image search.

I did get a huge number of emails before it was flagged and met up with Craig*, one of those who responded. More on that later this week ....

PS - You'd be amazed how many guys actually entered the word "dick" on Google. In case you were wondering, it mostly brings up pictures of Dick Cheney. An in-joke, but a few guys didn't get it and kept emailing to tell me I was wrong. Get a sense of humour, people!!! (or, failing that, a life!) :D

*all names have been changed to protect the guilty